Tag: planning

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What your wedding planner actually does and 5 things only a planner can do for you

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Are you a soon-to-be bride battling with whether you should hire a wedding planner or not? While it is in no way impossible to have your wedding sans a planner, there are definite advantages to hiring a professional for the job. A good wedding planner will make your wedding planning a lot easier as she has valuable experience handling weddings, whereas you don’t. In fact, I think wedding planners deserve more credit than they usually get.

Anyone who has planned a wedding will know that it is no walk in the park. There are hundreds of details to handle, many things to arrange and several people to coordinate. Few couples have the required time, effort, patience or organizational skills to do it perfectly. Wedding planners are the right people to handle all the details of your wedding efficiently, when you can’t or don’t want to handle all these responsibilities yourself.

Although you have to pay a wedding planner for her services, it usually is money well-spent when you consider the stress that goes into wedding planning. This brings us to the question of who needs a wedding planner, and who doesn’t. To make things simple, look at the following list. You definitely need a planner if:

  • You have no clue about where to begin or how much anything costs
  • You and your partner have full-time demanding careers that leave you little to no time to plan your wedding details
  • Your wedding location is far away from where you live, and you cannot continuously monitor everything there
  • You do not have time or are unable to find inspiration through the internet, magazines or other wedding resources to plan your wedding.
  • None of your family members or friends are available to help you
  • You feel burnt out, stressed or panicky when you think of the wedding
  • You know what you want, but aren’t sure of how feasible it is or how to go about it.

If you don’t fall into any of the groups above, you may be able to handle your wedding all by yourself. Nevertheless, let us take a look at what a wedding planner does, so you can understand why we speak so highly of them.

What does a wedding planner actually do?

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It is crucial that every couple work with a wedding planner who they are comfortable with. Read our article here to learn more about how you should go about choosing your wedding planner.

From the minute your wedding planner is assigned responsibility for your wedding, she starts working towards making your wedding a success. It is a service you are paying for, so she has to deliver to your satisfaction. Her duties include, but are not limited to the following

#Planning your wedding checklist and creating a schedule

A wedding planner knows the sequence in which things are to be carried out, so every task is complete and every detail in place, in time for your wedding. She will custom-create your wedding tasks checklist, and give you a specific timeline of what is to be done and when. This will allow you to mark your calendars for wedding tasks, get every job done on time and not miss out on anything that you may need for your big day.

#Vendor selection

You will need to work with wedding vendors for most, if not all your wedding needs. Just the thought of selecting the right person from all the vendors out there, working with and coordinating many people, perhaps even teams, to get everything in place on time can make a bride jittery. Fortunately, your wedding planner is equipped for the task. Once you share your vision for your wedding, and discuss your budget, your wedding planner can come up with a list of vendors who can handle each aspect. They can even carry out interviews, check rates and just leave you to make the final choice, saving you all the trouble.

#Negotiations, discussions and coordination with vendors

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There are a number of factors that are to be discussed with each vendor—their availability, rates, overheads, what is included in their bills, extra services that may be needed, etc. Meetings will have to be held, phone calls made, emails shared, payment schedules fixed and contracts drawn. This will have to be done with your catering team, decorating team, florist, photographer, wedding dress vendor, baker—the list goes on. Your wedding planner will make sure all this is done on time and to your satisfaction. All you have to do is make your payments (which again your planner will remind you of, in advance) and leave the rest of the planning to her.

#Planning the finer details

Weddings today are displays of details. Every small and big detail at a wedding is important, and it is impossible to take care of everything if you choose to do it yourself. You must have a wedding design, based on your theme. This will cover everything from how the tables will be set at the reception, the centerpieces, the aisle decorations, your outfit, party favors, wedding cake and even how you photograph. Beautiful weddings are those that have plenty of fine details, but come together cohesively. Your wedding planner can help you decide on the palette, décor and every other detail for your wedding. Her experience will help her assist you with what is practical, and what may not work. The best part is that she can provide you suggestions that work within your budget, so you can plan your dream wedding without breaking the bank.

#Questions, concerns and etiquette

Wedding etiquette may be an alien subject to you. From the way your invitation is worded, to whether you should invite a new associate and whether a dress you choose is appropriate for a wedding-related event, there are so many things that you may not know or not be sure of. Your planner can guide you in the right direction. She will be well-versed in wedding etiquette and can make sure that you do everything the right way. By suggesting what is appropriate for your situation, she can make sure there is minimum chance for disappointment or embarrassment.

#Planning and preparing for the day

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It will seem like there is a lot going on, on your wedding day. In fact, the days leading up to it will be filled with activity, that you can easily miss or forget a few details at least. But, this can cost you dearly. The Guardian puts it perfectly in this article, where it says, “Every minor flaw on the wedding day feels like a catastrophe to the bride and groom.” While you may not be able to foresee or plan it to the tee, your wedding planner certainly can.

She will prepare you and all those involved in your wedding, for the actual day by setting everything right during the rehearsal dinner itself. She will make sure that your bridesmaids know when to be where, the venue is decked up just like you had imagined it, everything is where it should be, the guests are comfortably seated, the music is played when it should be, all the vendors deliver on time and everything happens without a hitch. She will also be prepared to handle any last-minute mishaps. Remember how J Lo in the classic movie “The wedding planner” was equipped for every scenario you can possibly imagine; that is pretty much how wedding planners work. Need I say more?

#Take care of all the after-the-wedding details

The duties of your wedding planner aren’t over as soon as you are married. Instead, she will make sure that you have a great day without having to worry about whether the venue is vacated on time, the decorations are taken down, everything is returned to where they belong and the on-site staff are paid for their services. Additionally, she will make sure that your wedding dress is bagged and sent to your house while you set off on your honeymoon, and that your gifts are sent home with the person designated for the task.

In short she ensures that you have a fantastic day, without worrying about what has to be done next or if everything will be where it should be, all because she is in charge.

Now, we have a good idea of all that a wedding planner does, but we aren’t finished. At least a few of you would be thinking that this is all stuff that you can handle, or perhaps your mother or friend can help you to. We agree!

Nevertheless, there are a few things that only a wedding planner can do right. Let us find out what they are.

5 things only your wedding planner can do for your wedding

1.Use their contacts to get you to the right people for the job

Unless you have worked with various vendors before, it will be difficult to find the right vendor for very specific needs within your budget. Plus, you can only find out so much about how reliable they are, from the feedback you receive from your sources. Your wedding planner has worked on several weddings and knows all the right contacts in the industry. This valuable exposure will allow her to put you in touch with the ideal person who will work within your budget, to handle every task for your wedding. This will save you time, effort and stress.

2.Tells you what is possible and what isn’t

Wedding planning can get too exciting, and brides can go over-the-top with certain plans, without really thinking it over entirely. In many cases, they may not recognize the feasibility of their ideas on such a large-scale. Your mother or best friend may also have only so much know-how to tell you what won’t work or suggest what can be done instead. A wedding planner has been there before, and knows what is possible and what isn’t. They will try to make you and your partner happy, but will direct you so you can avoid disappointment later.

3.As a neutral party, can advise you on how to sort out things

Now, here is a person who you can turn to, when you want something sorted out. And trust me, when I say, there are so many occasions when tempers may flare and opinions soar, where wedding planning is concerned. Your wedding planner has only your best interests at heart, and will know how to make sure the plans are made in your best interests. As long as she is in charge, you needn’t worry about how to convince your parents about who sits where at your wedding, or convincing your aunt about why you cannot use her idea at your party.

4.Handle any emergency and come up with Plan B

There are several things that can go wrong on the wedding day, or in the days leading up to it. Your wedding planner is the right person to foresee any such mishaps. She will usually have a Plan B in place for any emergency situation that may arise. Many brides freak out over last minute changes to plan or unexpected problems such as vendors who cancel. With a wedding planner in-charge, it is likely that you will not have to stress over any such issues. She will know what to do, and in most cases may even avert the problem without you even knowing about it.

5. Does her job seriously and you don’t have to feel guilty about her not having fun

Your wedding planner is a professional who you pay to make sure the wedding progresses smoothly. So, you needn’t worry about her not being a part of the fun. If the same task were handled by your family or friends, you would at some point or the other feel guilty that they were so engrossed in handling their responsibilities instead of having fun. With a wedding planner, this thought needn’t cross your mind. This is her job, and she is being compensating for it. So, you can relax and just enjoy your wedding, as you should be doing.

Ultimately, whether you hire a wedding planner or not, the important thing is that you enjoy your wedding and get married the way you always dreamed of it. And to make sure you have everything you have for your big day, whether you plan it with your wedding planner or all by yourself, come visit us at Best for Bride. You will find everything from your wedding dress to dresses for your bridal party, accessories and everything wedding related, with us.

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Breaking Tradition: 5 Wedding Planning ‘Rules’ You’re Free to Overlook!

Traditional wedding planning was based on rules and even more rules. Luckily, we aren’t bound by endless customs and traditions when planning our wedding today. While it isn’t wise to toss all the rules, beliefs and wedding etiquette aside, few can be ignored so we can realize our vision of the perfect wedding.

So, what are they? Let us find out.

1.It is the bride’s family that pays

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With weddings getting bigger and more expensive everyday, it is not such a good idea to place the entire financial burden on the bride’s family. The couple can sponsor their wedding themselves, rely on funds from the groom’s side or even split the expenses. What matters is that you have the desired wedding, not who pays for it. Also remember that it is only right that the people footing the bill have a say in how the wedding ought to be. So, if you and your parents or in-laws disagree on the guest list or wedding menu, try to find a compromise that works for everyone.

2.Your wedding dress should be white

via Best for Bride

Although white is the most popular option in wedding dress colors, you don’t need to choose it. In fact, white wedding dresses became popular only in the 19th century, before which, brides wore dresses in different colours. So, if you aren’t smitten with white, pick any colour that appeals to you.

3.The groom shouldn’t see the bride before the ceremony

This was believed to be bad luck. Superstitions aside, photographers today encourage couples to click a few pictures together before the ceremony. This allows them to get the best shots, when the bride’s makeup is fresh. It also allows them to effectively capture the first reaction of the groom when he sees his bride in her wedding attire. This is a memory that the couple will often cherish, and so this is a good way to do it right.

4.You can have only one Maid of Honor 

More and more brides are now opting to have two Co-Maids of honor, if they have two favorite girlfriends. This makes sense, as it wouldn’t be nice to choose one over the other when both ladies are equally important to the bride. It is also more practical, as they can divide the bridesmaid’s duties and ensure everything sails smoothly, putting the bride’s mind at ease.

5.Weddings have to be expensive

Not necessarily. You can choose to keep the wedding small and meaningful if you do not have the budget for a big wedding. After all, it isn’t about throwing a big party or starting your life together on a big debt. It is about celebrating your love as a couple, with the people who matter most to you. Whether you can afford a wedding party with thousands of guests or you choose to get married with only your closest friends and family attending, you will still be pronounced man and wife. So, plan a wedding within your budget, and make sure you get the best deal you can afford.

For more wedding planning advice, tips and stories, visit us on Best for Bride.

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Your essential After-the-wedding checklist

Your wedding day flew by like a dream, and you are finally a “Mrs.” The past few months may have been a whirlwind of activities, and you may be relieved that it is finally out of the way. However, there are a few pending tasks to complete, before you can put aside all your wedding responsibilities, and settle into your new life. Let us look at what they are.

Preserve your wedding gown

via Best for Bride

You may have worn your wedding gown just once, but it is a treasure trove of memories which has to be saved and put aside carefully. Who knows, it may serve you in the future when you renew your vows, or your daughter may someday want to get married in it! It is best that you do not attempt to do this yourself. Instead, have your wedding dress sent to a professional for preservation. Make sure you do this as soon as possible, so the stains and dirt do not set and become difficult to remove. If you will be going on your honeymoon soon after the reception, ask your MoH to take your gown to the cleaners, as early as is possible. Till then, store your gown in a dark and dry place, and keep it airtight and place it far from stains and dirt.

Sort out your gifts and send out your thank you notes

It is a good idea to create a list of the gifts as soon as you begin receiving them, and note down who sent what. This will allow you to prepare your thank you notes faster. Sending out a hand-written thank you note will be better appreciated than sending a printed one. Don’t delay mailing them, make sure your thank you notes are on their way within a month of your wedding. It will help you to have the stationery and gift list ready. You could even write them before the wedding, soon after you receive the gift, and get a head start on it.

Review your wedding photographs and videos

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Get in touch with your photographer and videographer and find out how your wedding photos and videos are coming along. Review the prints and choose ones that you want to frame and display. Also, edit your video, so it doesn’t drag on for ever but includes the important highlights. While at your photographer’s, you may also want to get a few prints to share with your older guests who aren’t tech-savvy and cannot see your photos online. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Get your name changed

Now that you are officially married, it is time to inform all the necessary authorities of your name change. Collect your marriage license and visit the concerned government agencies to update your records with your change of name. Do the same at banks and other financial institutions. Also update your insurance plans and change beneficiaries where your deem appropriate, now that you are married.

Once these tasks are out of the way, you are all set to focus and enjoy your life together as a married couple. It is going to be a great journey ahead, so congratulations and all the best!

For more wedding tips and advice, visit us at Best for Bride.

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10 topics you must discuss with your partner before marriage

kiss“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.”    – Fawn Weaver

A happy marriage involves a lot of adjustments and compromises. The change in your relationship status will reflect on how you see each other as a couple, and also have a significant effect on your personal and social lives. There are many things that are bound to change. Some of these will be evident from the minute you are engaged, while others become obvious over time. As with any other relationship, expectations change, obligations increase and with all this, the scope for arguments also increases. Soon after the honeymoon phase wears off, many couples start battling challenges.

Nevertheless, no relationship is hassle-free. While most factors will fall into place over time, discussing the potential problem areas in a relationship before you tie the knot will help you avoid quarrels to a great extent, in the future.

Let us take a look at the most important things (in no specific order) that couples should discuss with each other, and reach a consensus on, before they agree to spend their lifetime together.

We do not suggest that you sit down and discuss all this in one go. Instead, take your time to talk about it, but make sure everything is sorted out.

1.Finances and bills

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How do you intend to settle your bills, once you are married? What is your household budget? Will you pool all your income together, or will you retain individual bank accounts and split the expenses? If so, who pays what? How much personal spending is too much? Discuss how you will handle emergencies, gift giving and daily spending, and there will be fewer nasty surprises in the future.

Making a plan and sticking to it, is a lot easier if you are currently living together, and already have sorted things out to a great extent. Nevertheless, this should be a definite point to discuss, as a surprisingly large number of marriages are affected by money problems. If either of the partners comes into the marriage with an outstanding debt, you should discuss how this will be handled. The same goes for a partner who has an asset, how will this be treated?

2.Careers

Both you and your partner should be aware of where the other is on the career ladder, and what your job aspirations are. Discuss what your careers will be like five years from now. Will you be taking on a more demanding role, and if so, what will that involve for your spouse? Do you see yourself quitting work to finish studies? If so, how long will that take, and when do you plan to do it? Will your career require you to travel extensively or relocate to a new destination in the future, and is your spouse fine with this?

While you are at this, also discuss options for worst-case scenarios, say one of you couldn’t work. How will you handle such a situation? This will prepare you in advance for giving due importance to both your career aspirations in the coming years.

3.Your dreams and biggest wishes

If your current career is just a stepping stone till you put aside enough money to start your own business or pursue an artistic venture, make sure your partner knows about it. Whether you will be without an income for a short while in the future, or you need support while you try to break into a new career, your partner will be better equipped to assist you, if he/she is in the know and agreeable to it. This is very important, especially if your future plans involve drastic changes to your current situation.

It is not just about your job, but you should share your ideas for your personal goals too. Do you wish to move abroad and settle down in the future? If so, it wouldn’t be fun when you put this idea across to your partner post-marriage, and he/she is shocked by the very idea. It may be too early to think of settling down, but you should still discuss where you would prefer to buy a house and live long-term. Although all this may change in due course, you should both be open to the current expectations, or it can be a huge source of worry.

4.Family obligations

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Once you are married, it is no longer “me”, but “we.” You cannot just assume that everything you’ve done with the rest of your family, will continue to be the same in future. Your partner’s family will also enter into the equation, and radical changes are to be expected. Remember that your partner may not be as excited as you are, about spending every Sunday at your parents’ place, just as you may not be if it were the reverse.

Have reasonable expectations, and your fiancé will respect your requests and appreciate your personal space better. Rather than argue about where to spend next Christmas, it will be better if you discuss this upfront. How about family vacations? Will this be a continuing practice, or will you consider each event only if it works for you at the time? You can always change your plans down the line, but setting the expectations right will prepare you better for the near future.

5.Children

 

baby-17369_1280There are couples who decide they want to start a family right away, those that want to put off having children for years, and some that don’t want children at all. The important thing is that you realize your partner may not share your idea. So, be sure to discuss this before you commit. Just because he loves playing with kids, it doesn’t mean he will want some of his own, or that he is ready to bear the responsibilities of a child soon after marriage.

So, don’t put off the discussion regarding having children, till after you are married. It would also be a good idea if you can decide how long you should wait before having your first child, so you can plan your life ahead accordingly. Discuss how long you would try naturally before considering medical help and what methods you are prepared to consider if there is an issue.

6.Boundaries

Arguments are part of a healthy relationship, but there shouldn’t be anything that constantly results in disagreement and either of you refuse to relent. Whether it is having his friends over all the time, either of you volunteering the other for a job the person despises, or your excessive shopping, make sure you both know where either of you have draw the line. If you take a look at the many wedding forums, you will quickly notice that many spouses constantly struggle with handling a certain habit or action of their partner. Most of the time, this puts a strain on the relationship and is a constant cause for worry. The problem usually is that these couples didn’t discuss their boundaries before they got married, or despite doing this, their partner doesn’t honor their interests.

Marriage is all about compromises and adjustments, but it should be in a direction that promotes a healthy relationship. Whether it involves family or friends, you should both realize that your partner too has a say in it, just as you do in their case, once you are married. So, you may have to rethink the way you handled things in the past. If some aspect leaves one of the partners constantly miserable, it is unfair and means that the other person should be more accommodating. Ensure that both partners know what drives the other nuts, and the two of you work on a solution to it. This will save your sanity in the future.

7.Past events

The past may be gone, but cannot always be forgotten. Honesty is crucial to building trust in a marriage, and you should share all the relevant details of your past with your partner. If there is some event in the past that will have significant bearing in your future, your fiancé should know of it. Make sure that your partner knows your family history, your past relationships and how they have shaped you, your sorrows and also achievements.

It is not just the negative, but the positives too that you should share with each other. Remember that discussing the past allows you to understand each other better, and build intimacy. Nothing shatters a relationship so much as when a partner comes of know of something significant in your past, which they believe you should have told them prior to marriage.

8.Faith and beliefs

If either of you are religious, and expect your partner to participate in religious celebrations or events, make sure your partner knows. One’s family background needn’t be an indication of how they conform to a particular faith. So, don’t assume your partner is religious just because his parents are. On the contrary, if your partner is dedicated to his faith, while you don’t plan to be involved in it, it will be best if you convey this to him and avoid a rift in the future.

If you plan to have children, you should also discuss how you will bring them up, if both of you don’t share the same beliefs.

9.Division of household responsibilities

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Gone are the days when the woman ruled the roost, and the man provided for the family. Now, the boundaries have blurred so much, that both are equal partners with equally demanding roles at home and at work. Unless you already have a list of who does what, you should discuss this before you tie the knot.

Don’t expect to divide the task list into two, but make sure that both of you do your reasonable share. If there is something like cooking or laundry that you hate doing, don’t just delegate this responsibility to your fiancé. Instead, inform them and work on a solution. These things are best sorted out at the beginning of the relationship, as it can otherwise trigger arguments, when one partner feels they are handling the lion’s share of the responsibilities at home.

10.“Me” time

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Neither of you can forego of your personal relationships, just because you get married. You have your friends, and he has his. You are lucky if you mostly have common friends, and don’t mind sharing all your time together. However, this isn’t always the case. There could be times when he wants to chill out with his friends, or you want to go on a shopping expedition with yours.

Don’t let your marriage stand in the way of your having fun. Make an arrangement with each other to continue doing what you love, without the other stepping in the way. Spending time alone, without your spouse, will give you some space to yourself. It will also make the transition from “me” to “us” easier. Try to be respectful of when the other is spending time away from you, by not planning any couple activities or family events that disrupt this routine. So, the next time you are invited home for a family dinner on Sunday, ask your partner before accepting the invitation, if that is when he will be having his band practice with his mates.

 

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It is of course, possible that your individual situation will involve more factors. For example, this list on the Huffington Post,  prioritizes a discussion on how important IKEA is in your life. It may sound irrelevant (even funny) to many. But as they say, at least some marriages are greatly affected by something as trivial as spending too much time at a home improvement store. So, expand your list, to suit your personal situation.

Relationship counselor and author, Leslie Vernick says, “ A healthy relationship is one where both people in the relationship give and both receive. There is a safe and open exchange of ideas, feelings and thoughts and all perspectives are considered and valued. There is also the freedom to respectfully challenge, confront and strengthen one another.”

Let this guide you as you enjoy your engagement and begin your marriage on the right note. For more wedding tips and advice, keep visiting us at Best for Bride.