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Pointers on how to dress as a guest for a gay wedding

We all have that set of friends who host the best parties for the rest of us throughout the year. They make for a wonderful gay couple. They are the ones who help us through times when the other couples in the circle go through their own issues. They have the most infectious smiles and the tightest hugs when we need them most. We cheered for them and partied with them when the government passed the laws allowing them to be married, after a long struggle. We have all laughed and cried along with them. We have seen their bond grow only stronger with time.

The world is becoming much better and richer for lots of countries that have embraced marriage equality, isn’t it? And we all know there’s still lots of work to be done before genuine equality is achieved. As if weddings weren’t good enough, we now have gay weddings to be a part of! They are a little different from straight weddings and are fun-filled, given the untraditional and unique themes they have. Gay weddings are filled with love like any other wedding on the planet. However, the emotions run particularly high when a couple is finally united after fighting a struggle together. These weddings don’t have gendered roles and have a lot of space for creativity, energy and pure joy.

And one fine day our gay friends decide to be together, they decide to get married! Now you want to be the perfect wedding guest but you don’t know how to be. Perhaps you haven’t yet been to a gay wedding. What to expect?

Being a guest at a gay wedding – though extremely fun-filled – is not always an easy task to pull off. If you are a guest at a gay wedding, consider yourself fortunate for the fun time awaiting you. But you have multiple things to think about: your attire and the perfect gift for the gay couple, to name a couple of things. Always make sure you acquaint yourself with the culture and etiquettes revolving around the gay community. This will make you more confident at the wedding and make sure you don’t create any awkwardness for the gay couple.

This particular article is focused on what to wear to a gay wedding as a guest. Wedding attire makes for a very crucial aspect of any gay wedding. This is why it demands a complete Blog to itself.

Here are some pointers on how to dress as a guest to a gay wedding:

1.      Shoes

As the saying goes, shoes can make or break an outfit. They play a very big role in every attire. Though basic, they are the most neglected aspect when people choose to dress up. Always remember that gay individuals are typically the most fashionable among the lot. They have an eye for detail. The “typical” couple would invite the best of their friends from their tribe, making up for a hilarious yet observant and discerning gay gang. You don’t want the coolest gang at the wedding to judge you on your shoes, do you? Besides, gay weddings are known to play the best of sound tracks to encourage their guests to leave their inhibitions and shake a leg. This is what makes it so important to select a pair of shoes that are trending and are extremely comfortable. Investing in a good quality shoe that pairs well with your attire, is an extremely wise choice. Remember don’t buy a brand new pair of shoes before the big event, as you’ll be on your feet for a number of hours. You want to be comfortable. You don’t need to spend a fortune on the latest pair of Jimmy Choos or Zegna boots. A great fitting pair of Oxfords, or a nice fitted heel will speak volumes and your feet will thank you. Try and buy something in a neutral colour tone so you can wear them again. Whilst a pair of shoes can make an outfit, wearing the wrong shoes with the outfit is a no-no, too.  However, these rules can be broken – for example, a suit can be dressed down with a canvas belt and a pair of Converse sneakers. Or match your suit with a great pair of loafers that have a no sock look – you can get invisible appearance socks or at least give your feet a spray with some deodorant to keep them fresh all day

2.      Accessories

Accessories can make or break your stance at gay weddings. I remember some wedding guests just because of the bright yellow clutch they were holding or because of the shiny bow they had paired well with their blue suit. If you are someone who wants to look their best at a gay wedding but doesn’t want to spend a lot, this is your playground. Be smart by investing in any good accessory that you can pair differently. It could be an eye-catching watch, a great bag, a fetching bow tie, subtle but gorgeous lapel pin, or just classy earrings. When done right a good accessory can steal the attention your slightly dull dress doesn’t need. While men can choose from a fabulous leather bag, a stand-out watch etc. Women have many different accessories to choose from. It could be a watch, a hairpin, a clutch, an earring or a statement neckpiece. Always make sure to check which styles are trending at the present and which colours will go with your ensemble.

3.      Finally, your attire or ensemble

Gay weddings are all about drama. But not to the extent where you steal the limelight away from the stars of the day, the couple. This is one of the many basic wedding etiquettes for guests at every kind of wedding. There’s a fine line between being plain bland and being overly dramatic. It’s certainly tricky but you’ve got to do this right to fit in perfectly at the wedding party of your life, don’t you? The outfit needs to be the centre of all your focus and can’t go wrong. You don’t want to be the odd-person out in a party full of good looking and well-dressed people. Gay people are renowned for always being in line with the latest trends. You can always check which trends did well during the last fashion week and which colours were predominant. A velvety violet suit is a serious no-no for a summer wedding at the beach. It will make you and the guests feel extremely uncomfortable; whereas pastels are hard to go wrong with. As a woman, you can choose to wear a simple & elegant dress or a good pair of shirt & smart pants. Remember, gay weddings don’t stick to gendered lines, so go have fun!

Always remember not to overdo or you’ll be remembered as the guy who wore the same suit as the couple or the girl who wore the fluorescent see-through one piece. It’s always wise to check with a gay friend or simply run your plans through the couple before their big day.

Now, on the clothes – this can be a pitfall for many men. You want to dress comfortably and be dressed as if it was effortless. If you’re dressed fussily you will tend to feel self-conscious and not comfortable.  This will carry with you all day – for example, if you’re tugging at a poorly -fitted shirt. You need to first find out the dress code: is it formal., and you don’t have formal wear? If so, hiring is a great option as you’ll be able to find a suit that not only fits your shape but also is cost effective.

Is it neat casual? Then a great pair of Chinos and perhaps a linen jacket with a pair of loafers or again the Converse sneakers will work perfectly – always a comfy look and you will be feeling cool, calm and collected all day. The best advice I can give is “don’t overdo it; be yourself”.  You’re the guest. You’ve been invited as you mean something to the couple. They want you to enjoy the day; much more than they will be caring about what colour socks you have on or how high your stilettos are!

Author Bio – Australia’s Bronte Price is the first ever certified gay celebrant from the continent that now boasts of marriage equality. He is also the co-founder of an Equality Network that caters any LGBT wedding needs by creating a better experience through wedding suppliers. As a member of the GLOBE (Gay and Lesbian Organization for Business and Enterprise), he works tirelessly to empower the LGBT community. His website Gay Celebrant Melbourne is a stunning example of his dedication for celebrancy that unites the power of love. Apart from that, his fiancée Clint and their four-legged fur baby – Bingo are Bronte’s quintessential lifelines. He is also passionate for volunteering as a newsreader at Joy 94.9 and spending time in his organic backyards comes a close second.

2 thoughts on “Pointers on how to dress as a guest for a gay wedding

  1. I never would have thought of any of this when my gay friends were married. I guess I just assumed that I would be able to dress the way I wanted or based on the couple’s recommendations. Thanks for the tips to keep in mind.

  2. This is the first article where everything is adequately written about preparing a guest for a gay wedding. Everything is so clear. Thank you, Olga, very much for this info! You saved at least 5 pairs. Already sent your article to my friends. “don’t overdo it; be yourself” – this will be our motto in preparing for Joseph’s wedding.

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