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Your guide to being the perfect wedding guest

We have time and again seen advice on wedding etiquette for the bride and groom, as well as the rest of the wedding party. However have we ever taken time to think of what the couple expect from the guests who attend their wedding? Do they or don’t they have to follow certain etiquette rules as well?

The answer is Yes! Just like the married couple, the guests too have to conform to some basic rules, to ensure the wedding progresses smoothly and without hassles. We will cover these over the course of this article.

#Rule 1

Confirm your participation ASAP


Your role begins with receiving the wedding invitation. Quickly confirm whether you will be attending or not. This makes the rest of the wedding planning much easier for the couple. Do it in the format that is suggested on the card. Whether they ask you to reply by message, mail or phone, stick to it so there is no confusion later. A card with an RSVP regrets only message is the only exception, where you have to respond only if you wish to decline the invitation. Read more on it at the Wiki link to RSVP invitations.

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Here’s the tricky part. What if you aren’t sure you will be attending? You should still inform the couple of your situation and give them a specific date by which you can confirm.

#Rule 2

Get the gift right


It is customary to give a gift to the couple, and the best gifts are those listed on the couple’s registry. It is unlikely that this information will be provided in the invitation. So, check with the honor attendants or the couple’s parents to find out where they are registered, or look at their wedding website if any. They should ideally provide you with a reasonable number of options. So, make your pick as early as is possible, and either take it with you to the couple’s home prior to the wedding or have it sent directly from the store.

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#Rule 3

Dress appropriately and be on time

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Make sure you find out what type of wedding is planned and dress accordingly. It would be inappropriate to attend a formal event in casual clothes or the reverse. Pay specific attention to details on whether it is black-tie or formal, so you stick to the dress code. Don’t choose a dress that clashes or overshadows that of the bride and groom. Arrive at the venue well ahead of time. It is suggested that you be there at least 30 minutes early. If you are forced to be late for some reason, join the group at the back and don’t cause any confusion.

#Rule 4

Be kind and gracious with your comments

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Every couple wants to hear that they’ve had a beautiful wedding. Even if you think otherwise, keep your thoughts to yourself. Congratulate the couple personally when you get the chance. Don’t make any snide remarks, and don’t embarrass the couple or the rest of the wedding party in any way. Try to wait till the bride and groom leave before you depart. Should it be impossible, inform a member of the wedding party that you have to depart and don’t forget to mention that you’ve enjoyed being part of the wedding.

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2 thoughts on “Your guide to being the perfect wedding guest

  1. It is not always about the people getting married, right? The guests can make it just as much of a great memory as the wedding party.

  2. I think that as long as you show up and show your congrats to the couple and do not get stupid drunk, you are a good guest 🙂

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