It’s every woman’s dream to have the perfect wedding, but the idea of being a bridesmaid and wearing one of those hideous bridesmaid dresses is another thing altogether. Ask yourself this simple question, who do you know has actually successfully reused a bridesmaid dress after a wedding?

The Bridesmaid’s Costume

In truth, most bridesmaid dresses look a lot like costumes, sometimes they remind one of dresses that a fairytale princess would wear to a ball, and could end up as a passable prom dress for a younger sister. Needless to say, these bridesmaids are the lucky ones. The unlucky ones are those that look like they are at the receiving end of the bride’s bad joke or at the very least her bad taste.

The Bride: the Dictator or the Benevolent Leader?

Of course, once your bridesmaids have said yes to be your bridesmaid, they are at your mercy. The common mistake that you can make is to make them wear what you think looks good on them, or what you think will fit better into your picture of your ideal wedding entourage. The end result will be that they will wear the bridesmaids dresses but you will not have happy bridesmaids.

You can take the higher path and ask for their input on which type of bridesmaids gowns they think will look good on them. If you are lucky, some of them will have good taste and come up with a reasonable compromise. In the worst case scenario, you will have bridesmaids dresses accessorized by grateful smiles from your bridesmaids. They will also feel a lot more comfortable in them and that is something that no designer dresses can guarantee you.

In choosing a style for your bridesmaids dresses it would be practical to have one that is simple and can easily be altered into something that is wearable on some other occasion. Leave the extra touches to the accessories that they can add to make the dress look better. These embellishments are also less expensive, and if the bridesmaids are given their freedom to choose which accessory to use, it could be something that would make them really “own” the dress.

Why Worry?

Aside from the fact that it would be better to have your bridesmaids on your side on your wedding, bridesmaids dresses do not come cheap. Even if they are not as expensive as your wedding dress, it will still be a waste to have a dress made to be worn only once, when you can just as easily have one made that can be altered to be useful again.

Where Bridesmaid Dresses Go

The dresses that cannot be used after the wedding only have two ways to go, one would be at a discount store rack and the other would be to be hidden in a closet to never be seen again. You can give the poor dress another option by having one made that has a chance of being of use to someone else.

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In the old days, the bridesmaid dress looked exactly like the bride’s wedding gown because bridesmaids are supposed to trick any evil spirits who may want to bring misfortune to the bride on her wedding day. Although that is no longer today’s practice, you should still give the same type of consideration to the bridesmaid dress as you would your own wedding dress.

Part of Your Entourage

Having a nice bridesmaid dress can make your bridesmaid feel like she’s really part of the celebrations and not just a third wheel (or fourth or fifth). While she does not have to keep the bad spirits away from you, she will really be more willing to help out if she knows she’s appreciated.

Look Alike, but Not Exactly One way to let your bridesmaid feel that she is appreciated is to pattern the bridesmaid dress to your wedding gown, but a much simpler version. Like perhaps having the same neckline and bodice, but with less embroidery or in the color of the motif or at a different length. Most designers will have bridesmaid dress designs that will accentuate the specialness of the wedding dress but at the same time give the bridesmaid their own chance to shine.

Along with the dress, you can also give your bridesmaids flower corsages or mini bouquets to complete the look. You can even have a girl’s day out and get inputs from them on how they want their dresses to look like. There is always room to compromise.

Another good idea is to choose simple designs and give your bridesmaids a free hand in the accessories that they will wear along with it, like shoes or bags. You could tell them the general description like it has to be of a this color for the shoes or general description of hairstyles but leave the interpretation to them. Let your bridesmaids personalities shine through.

Getting in with the Program

In case you want your wedding to be a “themed” wedding, try to be as flexible as you can about the idea. Think “substantial compliance” and not “letter of the law”. Not everyone wants to look like Scarlet O’Hara with ruffles and parasols. You also do not want to end up with bridesmaids whose main accessory is an “I feel really silly but it’s her wedding so let’s humor her” smile on her face. Neither will you want them to post a photo on their FaceBook profiles with the most unflattering of comments (they can and they will). Like the way the chorus line can make the diva look a lot better, your bridesmaids should also look good to make you look fabulous.

Still the Top Banana

It is reasonable to expect that you should still be the highlight of the entourage and most bridesmaids will understand and give in to this demand. In case you do have a bridesmaid that would like her bridesmaid dress to be better than yours, then it’s time to find a replacement.

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