Creating a budget for your wedding is the most important thing you can do as an engaged couple. Why? Being a financially responsible married couple is one of the most important things you can do together. You need to start being financially responsible together for your wedding. Even if your budget is $100K, you need to manage it so that you won’t accidentally spend $150K! Starting your marriage off in debt is not a good way to start. Let me give you 5 tips for creating a budget and sticking to it, so that you can have a happy jump-start to your marriage.
1. Figure out what your budget will be
Who is contributing to your wedding fund? Bride’s parents? A set of grandparents? The bride and groom? A combination of people? This can be an uncomfortable conversation for some people, but it’s necessary. Find out who is going to contribute, and try to get the best estimate of the amounts that will go towards the wedding. Then, you’ll know what your budget is! 2. Break down the budget by percentages
I’m not going to say that you should spend 50% of your budget on this and 10% on that because everyone’s wedding is different and unique. I will, however, give you a rough estimate. Remember, this may not work for your wedding, so keep this in mind when referring to this list. 45% – 50% – Reception
This includes your catering, venue, décor, alcohol, cakes, rentals, parking and almost all expenses that will be part of your reception. Start with your venue and caterer. Then fill in the holes of this budget with the other aspects of your reception. 10% – Photography
This includes any prints, engagement shoots, and wedding videography. 5% – 10% – Attire
This includes the bride’s dress, shoes, jewelry, veil and alterations. This also includes the groom’s attire. 10% – 12% – Flowers
Bouquets, centerpieces, and other floral décor makes up this category. 5% – 10% – Entertainment
The reception DJ or band makes up this category, as well as your ceremony musicians. 10% – 20% – Miscellaneous
This includes wedding planning, wedding rings, stationery, gifts and any other additional items you’ll want to personalize your wedding. 5% – Cushion
This is a MUST, no matter what your wedding budget is. You need a little wiggle room in your budget, so make sure you budget for 5% of a cushion.
This list does not include any expenses related to the Rehearsal Dinner, Honeymoon, or any other wedding related events like showers or luncheons. 3. Re-evaluate after you’ve booked your venue
For some of your wedding professionals, you will need to include a tip. Budget to spend an additional 5% to 10% for those vendors. These vendors could be your florist, caterer, waitstaff, entertainers, and others.
Since the venue is probably your largest expenditure, you’ll want to review your other budget categories before you go dress shopping, cake tasting, and sample catering.
You may have to change some of your plans. That’s OK! If your dream wedding consisted of elaborate and ornate floral arrangements, but your wedding budget won’t allow these ideas, work with your florist to find a happy medium that fits in your budget. Spend less on your bouquets or have your wedding party carry single stem flowers to allow for more ornate floral centerpieces. Find alternative ways to make your dreams come true. Pinterest can become your best friend for finding cost effective alternatives. 4. As you spend, keep track of your wedding expenses
Creating a budget is great. But what good is it if you don’t know how well you stay on track? As you spend for your wedding, keep a log of your expenses. If you want to have a pen and paper, go for it! If your style is more electronic, do what works for you!
Log your expenses as you go. Waiting until the month of your wedding to see how well you’re staying on budget could be a scary moment! It may seem tedious at times, but you will thank yourself when it’s all said and done. 5. Use Wedding Under Control which has the template you need!
Did you know that there is a company out there that provides a budgeting tool and it helps keep track of your expenses? And it will show you how well you’re staying on budget at any given time. You don’t have to recreate the wheel and try to figure out a template! Head on over to Wedding Under Control and see which affordable package will be right for you and your wedding.
At the end of the day, your wedding is the jumpstart of your happy marriage. Finances can seem unromantic, but how romantic will you feel when you know that you aren’t starting your marriage off in debit or feeling stressed financially? Stick to these 5 tips, and you’ll be able t have a wonderful wedding without feeling the weight of stress from overspending!
Celebrating with your nearest and dearest is at the heart of most couples’ wedding days and if you’re lucky enough to have everyone you love there, then you are truly blessed. Sadly, for many of us, we may have lost a parent, relative or friend who we wished could have seen us walk down the aisle and live happily ever after.
While nothing can replace a loved one being at your wedding, there are a few lovely ways that you can include them in your big day. Paying your respects in a way that is fitting to you and the relationship you shared with the person you lost will be more genuine and heartfelt than doing something completely out of style or character, so to help you out, I’ve put together a list of 8 different ways you could include them in your wedding, from subtle and sweet to quirky and unique.
Save them a seat
Some couples choose to leave an empty chair at the ceremony or reception as a tribute to a lost loved one, perhaps even placing their photo or a single flower on the seat. This makes quite a big statement and would be a fitting tribute to a deceased parent or sibling but may be very emotional for you if your loss is still very raw, so consider carefully how you’ll feel about seeing the empty chair and how that will affect your day.
Incorporate their favourite flowers
Flowers have the ability to evoke emotions in us and the combination of the sight and smell of your loved one’s favourite flowers are sure to conjure up happy memories while you walk down the aisle, eat the wedding breakfast and dance the night away. I always remember my nan loved Lilies and I still think of her when I catch the scent of them in the supermarket now. More subtle than an empty chair, this is a way for you to honour your loved one a little more privately.
Hayley decided to incorporate flowers in a different way; her granddad always carried Lavender in his pocket, so Hayley ordered one of my Lavender hair pins and a matching buttonhole for her mum as a tribute to her granddad. She also had a pin made in blue, for her “something blue”, which I absolutely loved!
Incorporate a piece of their clothing
There are lots of lovely ways that you could incorporate items of clothing. You could stitch a small scrap from a shirt into your wedding dress, use one of their handkerchiefs to wipe away happy tears (I surprised myself by how weepy I was on my wedding day!), wrap one of their ties or silk scarves around your bouquet or even have their wedding dress refitted and restyled for you to wear yourself. A couple of nice buttons from a shirt or jacket sewn on to the handle of your bouquet, dress or suit would make a lovely subtle tribute too.
Wear a piece of their jewellery
Wearing a piece of their jewellery, particularly something sentimental like their engagement or wedding ring is sure to make you feel their presence, plus it doubles up as your something old and something borrowed, so a win-win all round!
Carry a brooch bouquet
And if you don’t want to wear a piece of their jewellery, why not incorporate it into your bouquet? Brooch bouquets are growing increasingly popular these days and can take a variety of forms, with some including a mix of fresh or artificial flowers and a few brooches, to complete vintage works of art, crafted from pieces of costume and antique jewellery. The beauty of brooch bouquets is that they last forever and you could even have a go at creating one for yourself if you feel like getting creative!
My favourite thing about designing brooch bouquets for brides is hearing all the lovely stories behind the pieces of jewellery they ask me to include. Katie’s grandparents had sadly passed away before her wedding so she sent me pearl necklaces and her grandfather’s cracked watch to put into her bouquet; They added a sentimental and vintage element to her bouquet and Katie said that she felt like her grandparents were with her on her wedding day – how lovely is that?
Dedicate a song or reading
Did your loved one have a favourite poem or song that you could include in your wedding? Save them a dance and twirl around the dancefloor when their favourite song comes on or use their favourite poem as part of the ceremony (depending on the nature of it of course!) or speeches, or even before the wedding breakfast to start the celebrations. Again this can be as subtle or obvious as you like and gives you a chance to honour your loved ones privately or publically.
Display photographs
Displaying photographs of your loved ones at your wedding is another way to include them. Go big and bold and create a display showcasing your happiest memories together or keep it subtle with a memory locket or bouquet charm.
Kelly’s dad sadly passed away when she was little and she wanted to carry a locket with his photograph attached to her bouquet. Her fiancé, Dan, wanted to honour his granddad too, so they sent me some photos of the two men and I resized them using Photoshop to fit inside a locket and a pair of cufflinks. I love this idea as it’s something you could easily do yourself with a bit of photo editing software to resize your images and you can pick up blank lockets and cufflinks from craft stores or online fairly inexpensively too!
Include them in your cake toppers
This is slightly offbeat, but an idea I love nonetheless! If you’ve decided to have a personalised cake topper, you could include elements that remind you of your lost loved one. Meg and Jerry did this beautifully; Jerry’s dad had sadly passed away and so he and Megan decided to pay tribute to him in their cake topper. Jerry wore a cap in honour of his dad, so we added that to the cake topper, along with the football gear that Jerry himself wore in his college football days.
However you choose to honour your lost loved ones, I hope it brings you a sense of comfort and a feeling of their presence on your special day. What ways do you plan to include those you’ve lost in your wedding? I’d love to hear your ideas so feel free to leave a comment below!
About the author: Sarah is the owner of Elsa Rose Boutique and spends her days designing wedding accessories for brides that are looking for something a little different. From bespoke hair accessories and brooch bouquets to cute cake toppers, she captures the personalities of her brides and grooms and makes the sentimental details sparkle to create lasting keepsakes that will be treasured forever. Find out more at elsaroseboutique.com
I like to compare wedding planning to a mine that’s waiting to explode. The potential for problems is huge! Every couple faces at least a few awkward moments when planning their wedding. Many assumptions may be made that you cannot oblige to, you may have to say no on occasions, and where people are concerned there is no saying who can feel offended about what!
Here are 7 real sticky situations that you will most likely have to handle during your wedding planning process. We’ve also included the best possible solutions you can consider to make it as easy as possible.
#1 Tell a friend or relative that they are not in the wedding party
It could be that everyone thinks you are fond of them. Add that to the fact that you have a huge friend circle and an equally big family, it is likely that there may be at least a friend or relative who assumes they will be in the wedding party. If there are on the wedding party list, fine! If you haven’t included them, you have a situation to handle!
It isn’t easy telling someone that they are to be a guest and not in the wedding party. The best way to handle the problem is to take care of it as soon as you doubt your friend or cousin assumes they are in without you ever mentioning it. Tell her directly that as much as you would love to have her in the party, the situation is such that you would prefer to have her enjoy the wedding as a guest instead. You could offer a valid explanation, like you want to keep the wedding party small. (Only if this is a fact! It will harm your relationship even more if she ends up seeing a dozen bridesmaids on the day, and she alone isn’t one). Make it clear that you value your relationship with her a lot, and would love to have her involved in the wedding in any other way possible. Stress that you would not want this to harm your relationship in any way, and be genuine with your words. We are sure she’ll understand if she is a sensible and reasonable girl.
#2 When you’d rather have cash
Many couples struggle with telling their guests that they’d rather have cash or gift coupons, than gifts that wouldn’t help them. This could be because money would help them pay off a loan, or they could use it on their honeymoon, or because they would like to buy an expensive item like a vehicle. In all these cases, money would really help.
If you are in any of these situations, we know how you could be whether you ought to or not convey this message to your guests. Well, we think you should! First step, set up your wedding website, where you will be sharing your wedding registry information. Next, add a “gift cash towards xxx” as one of the top options in the registry and link it to your bank account. Share the website wedding registry with your contacts, so they are directed towards the page that prioritizes what you’d like to have, in a specific order.
The other option is to link your wedding registry to sites like Tendr , that allows guests to pick cards and send it with their well wishes to the couple. Now, if a guest were to ask you in person about your preferences, they would ideally be asking because they really want to get you something you want. So, don’t hesitate to tell them that you are saving up for whatever you are. If they are comfortable giving you cash, you can hope they will once they know of this.
#3 Telling your parents (or in-laws) that you want something different
Isn’t it funny how so many parents and their children fight over how the wedding should be held or planned, from the moment the planning is in progress? It is not too often that we see couples who want a modern, relaxed wedding with interesting and unique elements, while their parents would rather have a traditional-style formal wedding that can never go wrong. If the parents on either side are sharing the expenses, we know how quickly tempers can soar and all those involved can end up in a foul mood.
Rather than locking horns with your families, we suggest that you handle such situations tactfully. First, consider if you can do anything to accommodate your family’s ideas. If not the whole thing, if you can incorporate at least a few ideas, they will feel a lot better. Then, decide upon the things that you refuse to compromise on. When you present your final idea to the family, first tell them which of their suggestions will be included in the wedding. This will calm the atmosphere to a great extent. Then tell them what the rest of the plans are, and also that it is your wedding and you wouldn’t really be happy if these details weren’t part of it. So, request them to understand and convey how grateful you are for all they are doing.
#4 When a relative wants to take over as a wedding vendor
Yes, we’ve all been there, when a budding photographer in your family wants to be in-charge of the wedding photography, or an enthusiastic aunt wants to bake the wedding cake. It may be a bad idea to hand them the job unless these people are professionals. Now, even when they are professionals who are used to doing these for weddings, you may not agree with their style of work or may not be happy about giving them the responsibility for a range of reasons.
After all, working with a relative or friend is not the same as working with a vendor who you’ve hired for the job. You have to be cautious about everything you say, as you two have a relationship that could be hurt. In worst cases, they may disagree with what you want and even do things they think best. But, it may sometimes be a good idea, if they will offer you a discount or if you are really fond of the way they handle things. Unless this is the case, you should learn to say “No” to their offer diplomatically.
You can tell them you would love to have them handle the job, but you have already decided on another vendor. Or, the better option is to tell them that you don’t want to hire them for your wedding as you want them there as a guest, and not working all day and unable to participate or enjoy the wedding as they should. This clearly conveys that you value their presence, and if they appreciate it genuinely, this should put an end to the discussion.
#5 Saying No to guests you cannot afford to have
There’s this scene in the sitcom “Castle”, where Castle and Beckett mention to his mother that they were working on the guest list for the wedding, expecting her to suggest how they reduce it. In the blink of an eye, she rushes off to bring out her own guest list for the wedding!
Don’t be startled if you find the same thing happen in your case! Many couples are faced with the tough decision of saying no to guests that they cannot have at their wedding. If parents are paying, or if friends are pushovers who must invite people on their behalf, the situation is anything but pleasant.
We suggest that you be honest when you tell your parents, relatives or friends why it simply isn’t feasible to have any more guests than you have planned. Since your parents will anyway be inviting at least a few people, please give them a specific number beforehand. They can then prioritize who goes on the list and who can be left out. Make your mind up about how far you can stretch with any extra additions, and make sure you stick to it. After all, your wedding is all about having the people who matter the most to you. It is not about having a huge party where you hardly know half the faces there, or is it?
#6 Planning your bridesmaid’s dress budget
One of the reasons many women dread being asked to be a bridesmaid, is the financial burden that comes along with it. Let’s face it, bridesmaids have to pay for a dress that they may not like at all, pay for the accessories, spend on the bachelorette, bridal shower and gift for the bride. All this will take a chunk out of their savings. It is worse if they are still in college or have their financial constraints.
So, the best thing you can do is be reasonable when deciding what your bridesmaids should wear. Our suggestion is to be flexible, and consider a range of choices in dresses, so your bridesmaids can pick the easiest one on their pockets. Instead of having them dress up in matching outfits, think out of the box, and go with the mix ‘n’ match trend. This gives them the freedom to choose from the choices you have shortlisted. It is also likely that they will pick a dress that they can use again.
A good friend would also consider easing their financial burden by paying for the bridesmaid accessories or hair and makeup. Now, if you have been a bridesmaid at all these girls’ weddings previously, and they weren’t half as considerate, we think it is up to you to decide how to handle the situation. It wouldn’t be wrong if you kept their expenses similar to what you had to incur if this is the case. Else, think of what you can do to help out, maybe make use of sales and discounts or keep your dress selection reasonable so they do not begrudge you for your choices later.
#7 Talk money with your parents or in-laws
You think you’ve heard your parents mention sometime in the past, that they’ve put aside a certain amount for your wedding expenses. But do you ask for it once you are engaged and planning the wedding? Is it appropriate to bring up the topic? Well, it’s mom and dad, and if you are certain there’s money set aside for you, it shouldn’t be wrong to confirm so you can plan the wedding accordingly.
Ideally, they should bring the topic up if they have any such plans. So, it may not always be best to bring up the topic yourself. If they are quiet, it may be because something’s changed and not because they’ve forgotten about it. Never assume that they will pay, and go about planning your wedding based on this assumption. If they disagree, don’t feel entitled to it and have your plans go bust. Instead, share the wedding plans you have in mind and the quotes you collect from vendors. They will be more comfortable mentioning what they want to contribute when you do it this way.
If there is no talk about the money at all, you can either ask them what happened to the fund they put aside (that is, if you are sure they have), or ask them if they could help and you could repay it later.
As we said earlier, weddings are tricky events that can cause so much stress to any bride and groom. Nevertheless, it is important always to keep the big picture in mind. When you think of the priorities in your life and how you can celebrate the event that brings you and your partner together forever, you can tide over any awkward situation and leave it out of your mind forever.
Take a minute to think of the many wedding receptions you’ve attended, and tell us how many of the toasts and speeches were truly memorable! Wedding speeches are considered an essential part of almost every wedding reception. With all eyes on the speaker, it can be a frightening experience for some. Now, if you are the best man or Maid of Honor, writing a wedding toast is definitely on the cards. So, when the couple ask you to honor them by speaking a few words on their wedding day, it can be one of your worst nightmares come true–unless you have always been great at public speaking or have always prepared for this opportunity! Nevertheless, it isn’t too difficult to prepare and deliver an effective toast with a few essential guidelines. In this article, we will look at tips for both the couple who have to decide who all speak at their wedding, as well as for the people who have to deliver these speeches. So, fear no more and read on to find out how to go about it.
The traditional practice is for the best man to toast the bride and Maid of Honor to toast the groom. So, they will mostly be the two people who the audience expect a speech from. So, if you have gladly accepted either of these roles, remember that you may have to speak on the day. If you are really uncomfortable speaking in front of an audience, it may be a good idea to mention this to the couple in advance, so they can plan accordingly.
Apart from these two people, there are many others who may and usually will speak at the reception. This usually includes the parents of the bride or groom (mostly the father), especially if they are hosting the wedding. Then, there may be other relatives or friends who would like to honor the couple with a brief message. The groom will also be expected to say a thank you note during the reception.
Tips for the bride and groom
#1 You do not need wedding toasts unless you are absolutely sure you do
We spoke about who are the people expected to give wedding speeches. This is the usual norm, but there is no compulsion to stick to it. The team on A Practical Wedding blog tells you to buck this traditional cast, if you want something different. Remember is that there is no need to have a toast at all. If you feel that it would be better this way, so be it. On the other hand, if you would like this to be a part of your reception, go for it. Don’t forget to think of how comfortable the person giving the toast would be. If it’ll be a nightmare for them and they would prefer to stay away from the stage, it is best to avoid it than embarrass them with doing something they hate, for your sake.
#2 Think well over who you should confer this honor on
You can imagine how inappropriate it would sound if the person at the mike were to start the speech with something like, “ I am not so close to the couple,” or something similar. Even worse, imagine how it would be if the speaker went on to embarrass the two of you with his inappropriate wit. So, make sure that the people who are invited to toast you are those who will do justice to the role. The best way is to choose people who are really dear to you, and ask them whether they would like to speak at your wedding. It is best to not compel anyone who is even remotely uncomfortable, as not everyone may be confident about speaking out aloud in front of many guests. If someone would like to think over it, give them enough time to come to a decision.
#3 Ask all those you love, not just those who are good at speeches
Is there someone in your wedding party who you would love to do your wedding toast, but haven’t asked because they’ve always shunned away from speeches? Why don’t you just ask them? Even the most reserved people often rise to the occasion, if they are really close to you and wouldn’t want to miss the chance to say a few special words on your big day. After all, they may make an exception for you as a few lines they say would be more meaningful to you than an impressive speech by someone who isn’t as close? So, don’t hesitate, just ask. If they decline the offer, you will still be better off asking than never knowing if they’d have liked it.
#4 Leave it to them entirely
Wedding toasts and speeches are supposed to be prepared in advance, but not with the approval of the couple. That spoils the entire intent. Rather than knowing everything that will be said and spoken, wouldn’t you prefer the surprise of hearing what your dear ones have to say about you, right when they say it? Lay off the pressure, and they will most likely do a great job. So, trust yourself when you choose the person to speak on the day, and then leave it to them to do the rest.
#5 Accept what you hear gracefully
Whether someone declines to deliver your wedding toast, or the toast doesn’t sound as impressive as you would have wanted it to, don’t feel bad about it. Remember that although the guest you asked is dear to you, the reason they don’t want to do a toast is not because they aren’t fond of you. It could just be that they aren’t comfortable speaking in public. And where the content of the speech is concerned, keep and open mind, pay attention and be happy for what was said. Don’t expect their speech to take a certain direction or be similar to what they’ve previously delivered on another occasion.
Now, that we’ve covered the part of the couple, let us move on to the other part of our discussion. Let us look at what makes an interesting wedding toast, and how you can prepare for it when assigned this important duty.
What makes an interesting wedding toast
#1 Start with a punch
Since you do not have forever to impress, it is necessary to pack your wedding toast with punch right from the beginning. For this, keep the message short, crisp and effortless. A quote, short verse or poem or a joke when chosen appropriately will help you grab the audience attention instantly.
#2 Keep it brief
The most memorable messages are short and sweet. Convey your best wishes to the couple in a personal way that they will appreciate, and finish it off quickly before anyone is too bored to listen any more. Even if you have known the couple for ever, and have lots of stories and trivia to discuss, this is not the right occasion. If you must, stick with one instance and leave it at that. Toasts and speeches that end in 5 minutes are usually best.
#3 Don’t sound too impersonal
The reason you have been chosen to say a speech is because you mean a lot to the couple. So, make sure your message is personal and from the heart. There is no harm in borrowing ideas off the internet or a magazine, but let the gist of the message be your own and make sure you say it with emotion, so it is worth remembering. If you have trouble remembering the lines, note it down,but never read it entirely. Keep it as reference, just in case you forget where you were going.
#4 It is alright if it isn’t funny
You know how everyone has that impression that the most memorable speeches have humor in them. If you are naturally humorous or can lace a joke into your message, definitely do so. But, never try to add humor just for the sake of sounding funny. It can sound like you are trying too hard, and may do more damage than good. Also, it is best to avoid personal and embarrassing jokes, that may not be appropriate for the situation.
#5 Don’t brag or insult
This is not the occasion for you to announce how hard you’ve had to work behind the scenes of the wedding, or what you’ve done for the couple. Keep the focus on them and also appreciate anyone else worth commenting. Never use your wedding toast as a chance to insult either the bride or groom, bring up past relationships or say anything offensive at all.
#6 Don’t be too nervous
If you are not very fond of public speaking, we can imagine how terrified you may feel. Remember that with practice, you will be better prepared to handle the situation. Prepare your script in advance, and practice it well. Don’t stress too much over how it will turn out. And when you are up for the act, don’t allow anyone’s reactions get to you. Just go with what you prepared, don’t make any last minute changes that may get you stuck with your lines, and you should be safe.
#7 Keep the audience in mind when preparing your speech
Although the actual intent of the toast is to congratulate the newly wed couple, thank all the people who made the wedding a success with a few extra lines thrown in, and make sure that those extra lines are relevant to the audience. If your speech contains instances that all the audience are unaware of, they can end up confused and perhaps, even bored. So, if you must share a story about the couple, make sure there are no loose ends. Additionally, it is necessary that you introduce yourself and add a brief line about how you are related to the couple, so all the listeners know who you are.
#8 Maintain eye-contact and speak slowly
Unless you are a seasoned expert, these factors needn’t come to you easily. However it is important, as this will help the audience follow all that you say and enjoy your speech much better. Look at the people around you, and specifically at the bride and groom when you mention them. Speak loudly and coherently, and speak slowly so everyone can easily follow what you say. If you speed through your lines, it can cause confusion as not all may follow what you said. So, remember the three golden words—slow, steady and clear.
#9 Conclude with a punch, just like you started it
Don’t let your enthusiasm wane as you reach the end of your speech. Make sure that you end your speech with a punch line that packs an impact, just like you planned the beginning of your speech. This is the right time to borrow an interesting saying, or use a quote that follows through with the rest of your speech, but lingers on in the minds of the listeners. Remember that there is only so much information that everyone will remember after your speech is over, and what you say at the end will mostly be the part that sticks. So, plan it well and you can create the impact you desire without much difficulty. Visit this article on Wikihow for some sample wedding speech endings to inspire you.
#10 Remain calm and contained even after it is over
You may feel like punching the air or even doing a somersault once your wedding toast is ever. Restrict the urge! Be calm and contained, and if you must, smile and let the feeling of a successful delivery sink in slowly. Save the antics for when you are alone, and you will end up making a much better impression.
That’s all there is to preparing and making a wonderful wedding toast. We told you it was simple and straightforward, didn’t we?
If you are planning a wedding in the near future, don’t forget to check out our online website for all your wedding needs. And, if you are attending one, you should check out our evening dress section for some great options.
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