The decision to get married is a big one. It’s a commitment that will change both of your lives, so it should be taken seriously. A lot of responsibility and pressure falls onto the shoulders of the person proposing, and planning can relieve a significant amount of that pressure. If you’re hoping to ask your partner to marry you, there are many things to consider before popping the question, which is precisely what this article will cover.
Before diving deeper into the logistics of proposal planning, it’s necessary to take a step back and think about what the proposal means — ideally, a lifelong commitment to a loving partner. While the element of responsibility may seem like a given, there’s certainly no shortage of people who hastily propose and regret it shortly after. With all of that in mind, it’s vital to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page regarding where your relationship is going and at what pace. Even if you are prepared for the commitment, it’s best to speak with your partner to ensure they aren’t opposed to the idea of an engagement soon. The proposal and the ring may be a surprise, but the direction of your relationship should be clear. You don’t want to propose to your partner and get rejected because they didn’t see it coming, or worse, they say yes without fully understanding what that means.
The proposed method is a big responsibility for the partner arranging the proposal. However, no matter how low maintenance a suggestion you have in mind, there is specific planning involved nonetheless. Several key elements make up a proposal that you need to consider when planning the special occasion, and those are:
- Location — the location sets the mood for the entire proposal, making it a vital decision when considering how you will propose to your loved one. There are countless options, so now it’s time to get creative. The most important thing is that this proposal spot has meaning for both of you because that will hold the most special place in your heart. After all, the proposal is about your bond and not about an expensive destination or restaurant. And certainly don’t forget to keep your eye on the weather forecast.
- Surroundings — some people prefer quiet and intimate moments, while others want to share their enthusiasm with hundreds of others. Considering your partner’s preferences, choose a time and place that aligns with what you’ll be comfortable with during the special moment. For example, the beach may be more crowded during the daytime than at sunset, so choose accordingly.
- Decorations — if any props or decorations pop up in your mind when you imagine the magic proposal moment, then you need to plan them. Things like flowers and candles need to be set up by you or someone helping out before you arrive at the proposal site. You don’t want to leave this to last-minute improvisation. Ultimately, you are creating the story you might tell generations, or you might even consider participating in our proposal contest and becoming a winner.
- Speech — You will likely say a few words before popping the big question, but what? Start with something heartfelt and meaningful. Your partner will probably have been waiting for this moment for quite some time, so make sure that you let them know how much they mean to you and why marrying them is essential.
The Ring (Obviously)
The ring will be at center stage during your proposal, making the process of choosing it multi-layered. Depending on your relationship, your partner may want an active role in the ring shopping process, which includes selecting the design or trying on rings together. In that case, the call isn’t a surprise, and your partner has an idea that you will be proposing soon — it’s how and when you’ll suggest that will be the surprise.
Other couples may be open to a full surprise proposal where the ring is not chosen in advance. In this case, your partner may decide to keep the call, or you can agree to swap it for something more of their style afterwards. Whatever the case, here are a few tips that can help you in the process of choosing the ring:
- If your partner has been talking about getting married for a while, they may have given hints about what they like. For example, they may have told you they want rings with diamonds or their favourite colour is silver or gold. Try to recall all of those preferences and incorporate them into the design of the call if you want to make it a surprise.
- Don’t shop above your budget. It’s best to allocate a budget for the ring and not stray from it — even if you’re browsing. You would be surprised how quickly you can fall in love with a ring that’s out of budget and then have difficulty finding anything else that matches it. That is why it’s best not to let it get to that point. Instead, you can look into ways to check everything off your wishlist without breaking the bank, such as choosing lab-grown diamonds instead of mined ones to save significantly.
- Focus on what type of stone your partner will want (or not want). For example, while diamonds are still considered “the ultimate symbol of love,” they aren’t necessarily suitable for everyone—and some people prefer stones with more personality than a diamond can provide. The same goes for coloured gemstones like sapphires (blue), rubies (red) or emeralds (green).
Family and Friend Involvement
Everyone is close with their family in different ways — some more than others. That is why, as the one proposing, you need to be able to navigate who your partner would like to be involved with during that particular moment. Maybe they have a parent overseas who they haven’t seen in a while that you could arrange to be present in sharing the special day with you. Or maybe their closest friends can help you with organizing the proposal and then being there to celebrate afterwards. On the other hand, perhaps there are people who you think they’re close with, but your partner would rather not have their presence during the proposal. There isn’t a one-shoe-fits-all approach for these things, but the magic is in the customization so that the special day is perfect for you both!
Documenting the Moment
Most people love to capture the occasion by photo, video, or even looking back. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the person getting proposed to or the proposer — having a snapshot of the moment is something to treasure. That, however, needs to be arranged in advance. Whether tactfully placing your phone and recording the proposal or asking a friend to film secretly, it’s best to think of it all in advance. In some proposal locations, getting a photographer or hiding a camera may be more complex than in others without ruining the surprise. On a sandy beach where there aren’t people close by is a tricky place to have a secret photographer, for example. Go to the location in advance and do a mock proposal in your mind, taking all of the details into consideration. You may need to get your hands on additional resources to make it happen, such as hiring a professional photographer or using a filming drone.
Think About What Comes Next
You proposed, and they said “yes”! What happens now? You’ll all certainly be full of enthusiasm and want to celebrate. Having an idea of how you want to observe will ensure the night continues smoothly and you won’t be stuck waiting for a table anywhere. Whether it’s just the two of you or you have friends and family at the proposal, you can get together at home or go out to dinner—it’s up to you! This is also an excellent opportunity to gather friends who were not part of the proposal so they can share in your happiness.
While it’s great to be romantic and spontaneous, you should make sure that your proposal is thoughtful and not just a spur-of-the-moment decision. The whole point of popping the question is to make sure that the person you want to spend your life with knows how much they mean to you, so take your time planning it out. Ensure that everything from flowers (if those are important) is taken care of.