This guide might be your lifeline for those who have wedding jitters and are bad organizers. We’ve compiled the duties of a maid of honour to help smoothen out the plan and share the details of what needs to be done pre-wedding and during the wedding. There’s a lot to unpack, but it’s not an impossible task.
If you need extensive and transparent information on topics such as wedding duties, you don’t have to look further than this article. There are plenty of experts who can help shed light on almost any topic.
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
This quote is very true for newly engaged couples. Being newly engaged is a lovely phase in everyone’s life. It is perhaps the most romantic part of your love story; a time when nothing can possibly seem to go wrong.
As romantic and exciting as this phase is, remember that this chapter also leads to a bigger, even more exciting and chaotic phase—planning the wedding! However, this stage comes with a fair set of challenges and not all are able to handle it easily. There are some common mistakes that many newly engaged couples make and regret in the coming days. Do you know what they are?
Let us look at this list of what to avoid when you are newly engaged, so that your engagement is memorable for all the right reasons.
1.Not announcing your engagement to the most important people first
You are undoubtedly pretty excited about your engagement. It is only natural that you feel tempted to shout about it from the rooftops. Or, in the modern and more efficient version, share your big news on social media. However, remember that this is no trivial news. So, it is only right to first tell it to those who matter the most to each of you and as a couple. Let the rest of the world wait a little longer to hear. Visit your parents and break the news to them. Or if they are far away, pick up the phone and tell them personally. Next, inform your close friends and family. Once you are done with personally informing all those in your close circle, climb up the roof or login to Facebook and make your big announcement.
2.Revealing too much on social media
Making the big announcement is one thing, flooding everyone’s news feeds on Facebook with your news is another thing altogether. Contain your excitement, at least where sharing your news is concerned. Your friends will be eager to know. However, it can be rather irritating when you overdo the stuff you share on social media. Don’t annoy everyone with your openness and limit the amount of information you share. It isn’t necessary to post every update about your wedding planning online either. This can even be dangerous, as your news will be available to everyone. It will make you vulnerable to scams and cause unnecessary confusion if those you didn’t expect turned up at your celebratory events assuming your discussion or post was akin to an invitation.
3.Asking friends and family to be in your bridal party immediately
Wedding planning can be tortuous once you get into the details. So, it is important to think every decision through. Don’t be tempted to simply invite or ask people you love to be in your bridal party. These decisions are best made after you do your due research. Even if you are sure of who should be in your bridal party, play it safe and wait till you are certain before you ask. It is likely that your wedding will be after quite a while. Relationships can change in the meanwhile, situations may come in the way. So, wait till the time is ripe to make your final decisions in this matter.
4.Rushing to settle on a date
Now that you are engaged, a wedding is definitely on the cards. Though you shouldn’t procrastinate indefinitely, neither should you be hasty with your decisions. Don’t quickly decide on a likely wedding date. Instead take your time with this important decision. Consult each other and think of all the factors that you should account for. You will have to find a date on which your preferred vendors are available, the venue is available and so on.
Most couples don’t really consider or plan for a wedding before they are actually engaged. So, take your time with this important decision and you won’t regret it later. Once you lock down on a date, you have limited options in other areas. So, be sure of your decision before you commit to it. It is also a good idea to run likely dates by your family and friends before making a final decision.
5.Not considering budget
Setting the wedding budget is one of the first and foremost wedding planning tasks. Tackle it as a priority. Every wedding decision you make will cost you money. However, how much you spend on each aspect of the wedding shouldn’t happen along the way, or you can run into debt. Talk about your financial situation with each other and plan a practical budget. If your parents will be contributing, you should find out how much they intend to spend. Once you are aware of the maximum you can afford to spend on your wedding, split it into components for each wedding task.
A proper idea of your wedding budget will also allow you to make choices such as whether you should hire a wedding planner or undertake the task yourself. With a good sense of your financial situation and a practical budget, you can approach your wedding planning in a sensible manner. This is also the time to discuss and understand each of your financial situations and suitably plan your future commitments as a couple.
6.Rushing with the wedding preparations
Most couples end up having time for little else, once they begin wedding planning. However, don’t forget that you are in a new chapter in your life. Savor the moment, for it will never return. This romantic phase in your life deserves to be celebrated, and it is also the time for you and your fiance to bond. The wedding preparations can wait. Once you are engaged, don’t rush into the next stage. Instead enjoy some time together and you will be all set to start planning your wedding with full gusto.
Have an engagement party or celebrate with an intimate affair. You can even have an engagement photo shoot. The additional advantage of this idea is that you can also use this as a selection process for your wedding photographer. However, as this post on the Huff Post mentions, the real reason to have an engagement photo shoot is to document this special time in your life. Make fond memories of your newly-engaged status, and it will be something to hold close to your heart forever.
7.Booking vendors without thinking it through
Most hasty decisions during wedding planning end in regret. You will have to book several vendors for your wedding. However, each of these decisions deserve thought and research. In your hurry, don’t hasten to book a vendor till you are absolutely sure you require this particular service. If you rethink your theme, you may find a better deal if you look further. When you hire the services of a wedding planner, it is likely that he or she will have their own recommended list of vendors. Or they may negotiate on your behalf and snag you a better bargain from the same vendor. So, give it enough thought when you make your decision and book vendors only if you are certain. Also, don’t forget to read the contract thoroughly. Ensure there are no chances of error if you go with a particular vendor choice.
8.Booking your wedding dress shopping appointment before you finalize anything else
It is a known fact that wedding dress shopping takes time. There is also the waiting time after placing your order, till when your dress is ready for delivery. Nonetheless, wedding dress shopping should be done after proper research. You should also wait till you fix the other details of your wedding. The venue, weather at the time of your wedding and wedding theme are important factors to consider when choosing a wedding gown. Unless you know these factors, it is best to wait before you book a wedding dress appointment.
We also suggest that you do sufficient research before you go wedding dress shopping. Or you may drown in the numerous options available, and end up confused and overwhelmed. Instead, create an inspiration board and collect pictures of dresses you love. Also identify the best silhouettes for your body shape. Finally, short list the dress features you love most and only then head off for your dress appointment.
9.Agreeing to all proposals without thinking it through
Once you announce your engagement, your friends or associates may approach you with offers for wedding-related services. This could be a relative or friend who runs a wedding-related business or someone who wishes to be in the bridal party. Don’t ever commit to anyone at this stage, as it can spell disaster in the long run.
It is never a good idea to mix relationships with business, unless you are sure you can speak your mind or are sure the person in question is a pure professional. Gratefully accept all proposals and tell your friends and associates that you will think over it. Never agree to anything without actually thinking it through. You can always say that you have to consult your fiance or consider whether the suggestion fits with the wedding theme you have in mind. Only agree to any proposal for help after you are sure it will work out. Also ensure that you will not strain your relationship with the person by this offer of help.
10.Skipping the all-important long discussion with your fiance
Ideally, you should discuss all your important life decisions prior to the engagement. Nonetheless, it is never too late to discuss your priorities and plans with your fiance, before you proceed with wedding planning. Couples should be clear about a number of factors that will affect their future, before they take the plunge. Finances, family relationships, career goals and even retirement plans are on the horizon and will affect your marriage to a great extent.
Make sure that you discuss each and all these factors. There may be compromises that either of you have to make. You may also have to get your priorities straight, so there is no misunderstanding later. Get it all out in the open, so you can start this new phase in your life in the right way.
11.Going crazy over Pinterest
Pinterest is a valuable tool when planning a wedding. So, you should dedicate a good amount of your time to it, when planning your wedding. Nevertheless, it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of your engagement period. You can end up ogling pretty details and obsessing over what you ought to copy to your wedding. However, remember that this is all there only for inspiration. Get the idea, but head out and plan your own unique way to make your wedding remarkable.
Once you complete a wedding-related task, say buying your wedding dress, resist the temptation to revisit Pinterest for the same. It is likely you will find a new dress that appeals more. So, don’t set yourself up for disappointment. Believe that you made the best decision possible and move on to the next task. This is the only way to prevent yourself from a Pinterest-obsession and all the other wedding eye-candy on the internet.
Your engagement period is an exciting time. Nonetheless, it is also full of challenges of every sort. While you have to do most of the decision making yourself, we have the perfect solutions for your wedding day look. Visit us online or in-store, and our team will assist you in finding the perfect wedding dress for your special day.
You fell in love with the perfect, pristine white wedding dress and put down your deposit for the purchase. Very soon, you will have this beautiful gown altered to your measurements and take it home. It will stay there till your wedding day, when you finally get the chance to show it off and be a gorgeous bride. All this seems easier said than done!
White wedding dresses with their heavy fabric layers and intricate embellishments are susceptible to different types of damage. From stains to embroidered details coming loose and even yellowing of fabric, there are many things that can ruin its brand new look. This would be a huge tragedy, since it is the one dress that will aid your transformation into a stellar bride.
Weddings bring out the best and the worst in people. The bride, for one, will be under a lot of stress with planning the umpteen details for her wedding day. So, if you have signed up to be a bridesmaid, this is a time when you can expect to see your friend’s true colors.
Numerous brides have ended up with straining relationships with their bridesmaids as a result of wedding planning. This is unfortunate, as it doesn’t take much to avoid such situations. However, there are also many cases where brides and bridesmaids grew closer than they already were, by the end of a wedding. So, this basically depends on how both parties handle the situation.
As a bridesmaid, this is the right time for you to extend your help and support to the bride. After all, she considers you important and this is why she included you in her bridal party. It would be a kind and welcome gesture if you could extend your assistance to the bride in any way possible. Whether she accepts it or not, your proposal of help suggests you will be by her side, cheering her along.
Here are some of the different ways in which bridesmaids can help brides, as they plan their wedding. If you are soon to be a bridesmaid, read on to see how you can be a valuable asset to your friend, as she plans her wedding day!
1.Take up responsibility
Wedding planning involves so many details. So it is certain you can find an area in which you can contribute. Don’t wait for the bride to delegate duties or request your assistance. Take the initiative to find out what you can do. If you have limited time to spare, choose a task that fits in with your busy schedule. Or if you have talents that can help the bride with her wedding details, offer help in that area.
If you are crafty, you could help with DIY details like wedding favors or décor. Or if you have planned your own wedding, offer to help the bride sort out her wedding planning timeline. Anything from going shopping with her to helping the bride choose her wedding colors, theme or favors to addressing invitations, checking vendor reviews or even scouting for the dress will be of help to the bride. For a comprehensive list of bridesmaids duties, take a look at this article on the Knot website.
2.Try to accommodate the bride’s needs
When you sign up to be a bridesmaid, you should also prepare to accept responsibilities related to the wedding. The bride may want you to go shopping with her, co-ordinate matters with other bridesmaids or simply as a sounding board. Don’t brush off her needs saying you have a tight schedule. Find time to assist and support your friend for this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Make free time in your schedule and take on responsibilities she assigns you. This may sometimes require you to make small sacrifices. Remember that your effort will be worth it, when she will also find a way to return the favor when your turn comes.
3.Make her bridal shower real fun
Since you are responsible for the hen party/ bridal shower, try your level best and make it fun and memorable for your friend. After all the tedious tasks and hectic wedding planning, this is an occasion when your friend can sit back, relax and enjoy herself. It is also a welcome respite for her when she can engage in a party that she doesn’t plan herself.
Although you can easily whip up a party with little effort, do minimum decorations and order food that everyone will enjoy, it isn’t really fair towards the bride. She will certainly appreciate it if you let her have her moment and a little effort from your side can make a huge difference. Round up the rest of the bridesmaids and do some brainstorming. Get creative, involve yourselves in some DIY tasks and plan a party with plenty of personal touches that will mean a lot to the bride. Find all that you need to plan the perfect bridal shower in this article on the Huff Post.
4.Help her with her all-important wedding dress decision
Most brides see the inside of a wedding dress boutique for the first time after they are engaged. So, shopping for their wedding dress can be overwhelming with hundreds of available options. Add to it the fact that wedding dress shopping comes with its own dictionary of terms, don’t be surprised if your friend is confused and nervous about the whole thing.
If you are already equipped with the knowledge of how wedding dress shopping goes, share your ideas with her. You may come across useful information in magazines or online. Collect them and give it to your friend, so she can use it. If she invites you to go wedding dress shopping, try to find out what her preferences are. Encourage her to make the decision that is right. Remember that this is her choice. So keep her best interests in mind when you make suggestions and recommendations. Be on her side if the rest of the entourage are opinionated and tend to confuse her.
5.Be sensitive around the bride
Wedding planning can cause nervousness and exhaustion to such an extent, that even a cool-headed woman can turn into a Bridezilla. Many friendships and relationships have suffered irreparable losses due to wedding planning stress. While it is up to the bride to try and stay sane during all the wedding planning, there is a lot you can do to help her take it in her stride. Understand that your friend has a lot on her plate. So, try to overlook it when she seems unreasonable. Remember that this phase will pass. Listen to her and help her stay optimistic. Check in on her when she is under undue stress and help her when she needs someone.
6.Go with the flow
Although your friend may ask your opinion on every single wedding planning aspect, do not feel offended or disappointed if she doesn’t use your suggestions. Be honest with your opinions, but don’t patronize. As the bride, she will have her own vision and will have thought of her wedding a thousand times in her head. So, it is likely she will pick ideas that blend in with her overall vision. Don’t take it personally if your ideas don’t appeal to her. It could just be that she doesn’t think it fits in with her idea of how the day should be. It isn’t because she doesn’t value your opinion or asks just for the sake of it. Remember that it is her special day. All you can do is offer help that she may or may not take.
7.Be proactive with your responsibilities
There will be a lot of responsibility on your shoulders before, during and after the wedding day. The bride counts on you to make all these things happen on time. Take responsibility and do things punctually and with perfection. If she specifies a deadline for a task, make your plans so this deadline is met. Always double-check with the bride in case of doubt. Your timely help is crucial. So, don’t procastinate and delay things unnecessarily. Be proactive and offer assistance to the rest of the bridal party with their tasks, if you have the time for it. Your involvement and support will lend a positive atmosphere to the wedding planning, and the bride will surely appreciate it.
8.Prepare to handle pre-wedding jitters
Don’t be surprised if the bride is too stressed out at times and suffers from pre-wedding blues. Remind her that this is normal, and only because she is stressed. Don’t dismiss her when she comes to discuss her fears and anxiety. Convince her that all will be well, and that you will support her through it. The bridal party can always plan a surprise girls evening for the bride to unwind and put aside her wedding planning stress for a while. The wedding eve is when a stressed out bride is most susceptible to pre-wedding jitters. Prepare yourself and handle this sensibly and make her last day as an unmarried woman pleasant and memorable.
9.Adjust well with the team
You will not be the only person in the bridal party. With the bride picking friends and family members to support her as bridesmaids, you will have to work alongside women of different personalities. This can sometimes lead to conflicts. If the group is large, striking a rapport with the different members becomes important. Since you should work together to plan the bridal shower and to co-ordinate on the wedding day, compromise and adjustment becomes necessary. Disagreements are normal, but don’t make the mistake of taking it too far and ruining the bride’s peace of mind. Respect each others space and stay away from arguments that can get out of hand.
10.Be prepared for emergencies
Emergencies of various natures can crop up anytime during the wedding. This can quickly throw the entire wedding plans off-balance and create stressful situations for the bride. As her pillar of support, be prepared for such situations, step in and help in whatever way you can. You can also prepare for certain likely issues, well in advance. Consider packing an emergency kit with items like safety pins, chalk, tissues, blotting paper and safety pins and hair pins which may come in handy at any time on the wedding day. Also consider warning your bride about likely trouble situations like weather problems, if you foresee a likely problem. A list of common emergencies and how to tackle them are available here on the Bride Box.
11.Don’t complain or be snarky
We get it if you do not agree with the bridesmaid dress choice or are unhappy with your friend’s wedding planning decisions. Nonetheless, remember that it is her wedding and her decision and you ought to respect it. If something makes you really uncomfortable, like perhaps the chosen dress style, tell the bride about it. However, keep it to the point. Accept it if she prefers to stick with her choice. It is just the matter of one day. Go with it and rest assured, you will not suffer any permanent damage because of it.
12.Don’t embarrass the bride
You don’t want to be that bridesmaid who gives the bride nightmares. Unfortunately, few women realize the trouble they cause their friends by simply voicing out unwarranted opinions and advice, spilling wedding plans and going overboard with drinking at the wedding. Act sensibly and know your limits. You will participate in several celebrations, like the bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony and reception. Don’t do anything that will make the bride regret her decision of making you bridesmaid. She has enough stress to handle as it is; you do not want to add to it in any way.
Bridesmaids have a very important role in a wedding. However, it is one that comes with various important responsibilities. Appreciate the gesture of your friend, who values your support and invited you to be part of her special day. She deserves your presence, guidance and assistance as she embarks on planning the biggest event in her life. Use this opportunity to be a good friend and make her day extra-special with your personal efforts. As you look back on this experience in the future, it will be one that is filled with special memories and a sense of accomplishment.
For bridesmaids dresses that are perfect for the occasion, don’t forget to take a look at our vast inventory of dresses for the bridal party. Available in every color, dress style and size, there is something for everyone. So, why don’t you browse through it and pitch in when the bride invites suggestions for the dresses for her best friends? Click here to see what we have in store.
Recent Posts: The Best Bridal Store - Your source for everything you want to know about weddings