The moment you get engaged, it seems like there are fireworks everywhere. Your dreams are finally coming true and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with the one person that you want to see day in and day out. Of course, you also get so excited about all the wedding planning – bridesmaid dresses, wedding dresses, wedding centrepieces in Toronto or elsewhere, just to name a few.
But then, just when everything is in its proper place, just when you are all set, the unthinkable thing happens – you get jilted. Your fianc‚ backs out. Regardless of the reason for this, one thing is clear: there will no longer be a wedding to plan, no wedding to go to. There will no longer be a happily-ever-after for the both of you, at least.
So what should you do?
1. Have someone take care of the mess.
Indeed, a broken engagement is messy. There’s so much to take care of. What would happen to those purchased bridesmaid dresses, lovely wedding flowers and fabulous gown that you’ve carefully chosen from a pile of equally stunning wedding dresses?
Of course, you can’t expect yourself to take care of all those – given that you are all devastated being left behind by the one person that you expect to be with you through thick and thin. So, you need to mobilize your minions – make use of your entourage. Request your maid of honor to inform the guests that a wedding will no longer be taking place. She could also cancel the caterer, the flowers and the wedding decorations. She will be more than happy to do all that – even including getting your wedding gown and all things reminiscent of wedding dresses out of your sight.
Your parents could also be of so much service to you during this time. They can call the guests – inform them of the situation without having to spill all the gory details. They could also take care of the church and explain the cancellation of the wedding.
Whatever material thing that needs taking care of, your parents and the other members of the entourage could handle.
2. Embrace the sadness.
Now, here’s something that you can do – acknowledge the devastation. Feel it. For quite a while, it would be painful for you to see wedding dresses and anything related to marriage. But this will not go on forever. So while the feeling is still so fresh, accept it. Cry, wallow in your misery. Get a new environment, sulk in your room. Whatever it is that would get the negative emotions out, do it. Your body can only be in that devastated state for quite a while. After that, you will see the sunshine.
3. Move on.
It’s not easy to move on. It is a process and it takes a while. But simply wallowing and relating wedding dresses to sadness will not a better person make. So compose yourself, stand up and smile. Sooner or later, you will find the person that’s meant for you. Sooner or later, you will understand why such a wedding never materialized. And that is because there’s someone else out there that could make you very happy… there is someone out there who can bring out the best in you.