Everything is set; you’ve picked out your wedding dress and the bridesmaid dresses. Yes, it is your wedding, and yes, they will wear what you ask them to. The question is, do they really want to? The purpose of a bridesmaid is to help you with the planning of the wedding and on the day of the event itself. This purpose has evolved from the traditional “help” that bridesmaids gave to confuse evil spirits or thugs and robbers and keep them away from the bride. In the Roman era, in fact, bridesmaids wore the same clothes the bride wore, not to outshine, but to protect.
Are Bridesmaid Dresses Necessary?
Going for a certain look or a theme for your wedding, in principle, is not a bad idea. Bringing the concept to life is another matter entirely. After all, the last thing you’d want is for at least four of your closest friends or relatives to look and feel silly on that most special day of your life. Even given as fact that you probably know what their taste in clothes are, it never hurts to be sure.
Please and Thank You
You can trust them with their instincts, tell them the look you are going for, and leave them to decide on their bridesmaid dresses. Most times, trust pays out, and they will consider your wishes. If you’re not comfortable with the “do what you want” attitude, you can make it a girl’s day out. Pre-choose the styles that fit your idea of bridesmaids dresses, and then have them choose which dress which they think will fit them best. That way you have some measure of control over what they will wear, and almost entirely blameless if the dress doesn’t work out.
The bouquets (if any) are your responsibility, but you can leave them to decide on the hair, make up, shoes, and other accessories. These are details you can let go of. It’s always better to make them feel part of the decision making process, rather than just bulldozing them into wearing certain bridesmaid dresses, no matter how nice you think they are. Never get into the mindset of thinking that you are doing them a favor because although it is YOUR special day, it is not necessarily as important to them.
Bridesmaid dresses are notoriously non-reusable, and in some cases, downright horrible. There are quite a few websites claiming to have a selection on the worst dresses ever with captions like “limey!” for a lime green dress, or “fifty bucks”, as if they were selling the dress. You can use your imagination on that one. Think on how you would feel if you found one of your bridesmaid dresses on there with the caption “OMG”, and remember that it only takes a couple of minutes to upload to the Internet.
Indeed, your wedding isn’t all about you; it’s about the people in it, too. The only way you’ll ever have a successful wedding is when everyone’s happy – and yes, that includes your bridesmaids.