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How to Write Your Own Vows



Any writer can tell you that facing the blank page can be intimidating. It’s no different when writing your own wedding vows. How can you begin to describe your love for the person with whom you want to share your life? Here are some helpful tips for how to write your own vows.

Before actually writing the vows, talk to your fiance about the tone of the vows. If one of you writes very serious, traditional vows and the other’s are humorous, the humorous vows can seem disrespectful even if there was absolutely no intent to be portrayed that way. You might decide that you will both include a mix of serious and funny. Discuss the options as a couple. Also, decide on a general length. Vows usually are between one and two minutes long.

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Looking at the whole project of writing your own vows may be too overwhelming. Try breaking the vows into the sections that you want. Many people start with a very basic statement addressing their loved one. They typically start with the fiancé’s name and a few sentences talking about the person’s strengths, lovable qualities, and caring nature. Close the beginning of the vows with a declaration of love.

An example of the beginning of vows:

“Daniel, you are my one true love. You have an amazing balance of being strong, yet being affectionate, and being focused, yet making me laugh. You have always accepted me for who I am while challenging me to reach my potential. I love you with all my heart, forever and always.”

Traditionally, the second part of the wedding vows include promises. These promises can be statements about how you will show your love and commitment every day. The promises can be general statements such as, “I will always do everything I can to make you happy.” Or, the promises can be more personal and specific.

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Wedding vows typically end with statements about future hopes or what you will do together. For example, this part can be summarized as “I will love you through good times and bad.” You may want something more poetic or personal. The ending of the vows usually includes a sentiment about the bond being eternal, such as “as long as we both shall live.”

Take a cue from writers of dialogue. Practice saying the vows aloud. Sometimes, we write things that look good on paper but are awkward when spoken. Hearing it will help you know what they will sound like to your fiancé and wedding guests. This will also give you a chance to time how long it takes to say the vows.

Start writing vows early. You may want to make changes along the way. After you think you’re finished, you might think of something else you want to say or want to change the wording. When you are completely finished, make a fresh copy to practice if you have been writing and changing things on paper.

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For more tips for conquering challenges associated with planning your wedding, please browse the Best for Bride blog.

3 thoughts on “How to Write Your Own Vows

  1. I always wanted to do this. However, every time I try to come up with something, it does not work well for me at all. I start to sound like a person that just came from a root canal. I think I will just do the normal vows.

  2. I think personalizing the vows is one of the most loving things you can do at the wedding.

  3. One of the most romantic things to do at the wedding is to hear the custom vows from the bride and groom.

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