A bride greatly relies on her bridesmaids to make sure her wedding day runs smoothly. Nevertheless, not all bridesmaids realize the extent to which they are essential in a wedding. If you have been asked to be a bridesmaid, it is a big honor, as the bride values your presence and participation in her wedding. So, don’t you think you should ensure you do not disappoint her?
Here, we bring you some tips on how you can make your friend’s wedding special by doing your job well. Let us take a look at them.
via Best for Bride
Be enthusiastic about the wedding
Getting married is a lifetime event, and a big deal for your friend. Feel happy for her, and make sure you are enthusiastic when she shares her dreams, fears and ideas for her big day. Your support will be very encouraging. Be there for her when she needs help with her wedding dress shopping, is worried about how things will turn out or is confused when she has to make a decision. Strive to make her wedding planning smooth by contributing ideas or offering to help when possible.
Be flexible and not a drama queen
So, your friend may choose a dress color that is not perfect on you. Don’t make a big fuss over it. Remember that it is her wedding and she expects you to go with what she chooses. If she is a good friend, it is unlikely that she will choose a dress that looks terrible on you. But, once you’ve agreed to be a bridesmaid, you should go with what she chooses, whether you like it or not.
Don’t be overbearing
You may have a ton of ideas and suggestions for your friend, but don’t try to take over her wedding. Remember that she has also been dreaming about her big day for a long time, and has a certain idea of how it should be. If she wants help with making decisions, offer them but don’t put her off by telling her that her plans sound terrible.
Don’t be too busy for your responsibilities
The bridesmaids have to be present when choosing their dresses, for the bridal shower and rehearsal dinner. Plan and organize your schedule so you do not miss any of the important wedding-related events. Try to make friends with the rest of the bridesmaids and co-ordinate with the maid of honor to understand your role and responsibilities. Get to your dress appointments on time and do your hair and makeup on the wedding day as instructed. Mark your calendar with the things you should be doing and polish your organizational skills so you handle your responsibilities to the best of your ability.
Keep the wedding planning information to yourself
Bridesmaids are usually the people who get to hear of all the wedding details first. You will know what your friend will be wearing, what the wedding color palette is and more. Stay loyal and don’t spread this information around. Your friend expects you to keep it a secret.
Image Credits: ceng design, via Flickr [CC BY 2.0]Weddings are a big celebration, as it is one of the most important events in a couple’s life. However, it is not a one-day event, where everything starts and ends on the day of the wedding. There are many other occasions that build up the thrill and make the days leading up to the wedding, exciting for the couple and everyone else involved in their lives.
Just as the couple put in a lot of time and effort in planning their wedding, the bridesmaids are expected to do their part in hosting an interesting bridal shower. Nevertheless, it is not an easy task. Although it isn’t as complicated as planning the wedding itself, there is a certain amount of planning, organizing and managing that goes into it. If you haven’t hosted many parties before, or are trying your hand at a bridal shower for the first time, do not worry. This article will guide you through all that you need to know, to plan it like a pro. Let’s begin!
1.Surprise party or planned one
The first step in planning the bridal shower is to decide whether you want it to be a surprise or not. While some brides may be all for the surprise, and will enjoy what you plan, other brides are more conservative with their likes. These brides would appreciate advance notice about what to expect. You know your friend best, so go with what she would prefer. If she has plenty of ideas and has hinted at a theme that she would like, try to plan your party around her likes. After all, it is to celebrate the bride. Ask her who she would like at her party, whether there is a theme she would love and any other inputs. Then plan the bridal shower around these ideas. Nevertheless, don’t tell her everything about what you will be arranging. Instead, just tell her the date, time and venue, and leave her guessing about the rest.
2.When to start planning
The bridal shower is on your priority list of to-do’s as a bridesmaid. So, start preparing for it soon after your friend has asked you to be on her bridesmaids list. Start gathering ideas and making plans at least 3 months before the scheduled date, and set up a bridal shower calendar. Remember that your list of tasks should include the following, in more or less the same order:
fixing the budget for the party
compiling the guest list and collecting addresses
drafting, printing and sending out invitations
booking the venue or making reservations at the chosen location if the crowd is small
Collecting and compiling RSVPs and adjusting the guest list
choosing the menu and arranging food
arranging for decorations
planning bridal shower games, collecting necessary items to play them and buying prizes
pick up all that is needed to entertain the guests on the day
deciding and buying bridal shower favors for the guests
Decorating or overseeing the decorations and setup at the venue
Mark your calendar for when each of these activities are to be held. Since it is likely that you will be sharing these duties with the rest of the bridesmaids, you can split the responsibilities with them. Create a list of errands to be completed by each girl, and make sure you monitor everything is progressing as per plan, once you begin the process.
3.When to hold the bridal shower
The bridal shower should ideally be held at least two weeks before the wedding date, so it doesn’t clash with any other appointments the bride may have. However, you shouldn’t plan it way ahead of the wedding. Anytime in the two months before the wedding is ideal, as the thrill of the wedding will be building up and this is the best time to host it. Nevertheless, consider other factors such as if the guests have to travel from far to attend the bridal shower. In this case, it may be a good idea to hold the shower closer to the wedding date, so it will be convenient for those who come from far. Just make sure you confirm with the bride, and fix the date accordingly.
4.Set the budget and create the guest list
First up, work with the rest of the bridesmaids and fix the budget for the party. You should have a rough idea of how big the party will be, to set a reasonable budget. So, consider this factor first. Now, move on to deciding the venue, planning the theme and budgeting for other party expenses within this amount. It is a good idea to hire the services of a professional photographer for the bridal shower. Figure this into the budget as well. Make sure you miss nobody, by asking the bride if you’ve missed anyone in your list. You cannot however ask the bride, if you have planned a surprise party. In this case, work with the rest of the bridesmaids, or ask her family to make sure you have all the important people on the list. Collect the contact information of all those who are to be invited, and make a separate list of those who have to travel from far or have to be informed early, so they can plan for it.
5.Book the venue and send out invitations
Next, finalize the venue and make the rest of the plans. This is also the time to decide if you will have to make reservations for the venue where the event is to be hosted. If so, finalize the date immediately and make sure to do the bookings on time. Simultaneously draft the bridal shower invitations. It should include all relevant details like the time, date, venue, an RSVP request and theme, if any. Apart from this, you may also like to include the registry information on the bridal shower invite, as it will help the bride get this information out to all the guests easily. You can even DIY the invites if you have the time and the skills to handle it. Send the cards out at least six weeks prior to the shower date.
6.Make food and drink arrangements
Unless you have booked an all-inclusive package at the venue, you will have to decide on the menu for the party. Plan it according to the time, venue and weather. You do not have to offer a complete meal. Light snacks, soups and deserts are the norm for afternoon and evening parties. You may like to add some signature style dishes or innovative arrangements like a s’more bar or hot chocolate station, to make it more interesting. Keep the spread uncluttered, varied and interesting. If there are theme colors, plan food choices in matching colors. Create a schedule for the food stuff that you will be making, and place orders for those that you will be buying. If you will be serving cocktails or drinks, plan when you will go shopping for mixers, garnishes, ice cubes and all that will be necessary if you are hosting it at your home or doing the arrangements yourself.
7.Plan games and activities
Bridal shower games are not just entertainment. They are a must to help the guests break the ice. Check out our posts on fun bridal shower games here and here. Assuming that the guests at the party will belong to different age groups, it is a good idea to have a mix of both traditional games and recently trending ones, so everyone can participate. Also include games that will require the guests to be seated, and those for which the guests will have to be up and active, to keep it varied. Once you have a list of the games and activities that will be held, create another list of all that you need to buy or arrange. Then get down to collecting or creating it. If required, you can even hire an entertainer or an event planner to host the day’s activities, if you don’t want to do so yourself. You should also consider the music you will be playing on the day and have the play list ready in advance.
8.Get the party favors ready
It is customary to send the guests home with a party favor from the event. It is up to you to decide what you would like to gift. It can either be edible favors like cookies, cakes or chocolates or non-edible keepsakes like compact mirrors, purses, key chains or coasters. You can even DIY or arrange for customized party favors that match the theme of the event you hosted. Use your imagination and get creative to make these party favors stand out. Green party favors are a trend that is not only environment-friendly, but practical as well. If you have to shop for the favors or place an order for it online, make sure you do it in time. Delivery of bulk orders can take anywhere from a week to a month or more. Some favors may require further assembly after you receive them, or some of them may have to be gift-wrapped. Figure out all these factors, so you have them ready in time for the party.
8.Get the arrangements in place, and buy the remaining items closer to the date
As the date of the shower approaches, make sure you have all the decorations ready, all the DIY tasks completed and your calendar set for when you will complete the last minute shopping. If you are holding the party at your house or at a location where you have access to before the day of the shower, you can start setting up in advance. The last-minute things to buy or collect will include flowers, food and drinks. The décor items should already be arranged for and collected in advance.
9.Create a special seat for the bride
Make sure that the bride’s seat is specially decorated or customized. You will also have to arrange for extra space to stash all the gifts she receives on the day. It is a good idea to also include a notepad or register to keep track of the gifts each person brought. Since there is a tradition of opening the gifts received at the shower on the day itself, keep a pair of scissors ready, to cut through the wrappers and a large trash can to contain all the gift wrap, once the gifts are opened. Also, don’t forget to buy your gift for the bride. You can collect funds from the entire bridesmaid group and get her a combined gift.
10.Prepare for the day
Depending on how much time you will have on the day, plan your activities so that the area is set up on time. Create a checklist of everything that has to be done on the day, where everything has to be arranged and who is in charge of what. Pick up flowers, grocery and all that is to be collected on the day and set them in place. Dress yourself up for the event, and choose a dress that you will feel comfortable in, but look great in. Check all the equipment at the site before the function starts. Co-ordinate with the guests and make sure everyone remembers the time and where they should be.
With all these steps in place, you are now all set to host the perfect bridal shower, and enjoy it too. Organizing everything on time will help you ensure that everything progresses without any hassles, and you aren’t stressed out over it.
We all have a general idea that the bride handles most of the responsibility of planning the wedding, while the groom plays a supporting role. After all, it is always the bride who is super-excited about the wedding, and takes it upon herself to handle the lion’s share of the tasks. But remember, this is not a wedding rule set in stone.
If you want your groom to also be just as interested and involved, here is how you can include him in planning and making your dream wedding a reality.
Discuss your concerns and worries open-heartedly
The best way to spark your groom’s interest in your wedding is to discuss most, if not all aspects of the wedding with him. If there are certain issues you have trouble with, run it by your groom. He may have suggestions to solve it, or help you find a workaround that you hadn’t thought of.
Give your groom a say
Many grooms often feel side-lined and that their brides want them out of the way when planning the wedding. It isn’t unusual, as brides have been dreaming of this day from the time they were little girls. They usually turn to their friends or sisters, who are just as excited about it as they are. So, they go to them for suggestions and advice, instead of asking their groom. If you have been doing this all along, remember that it is your fiance’s wedding too. He will also have opinions and ideas. So, set aside time to ask him for inputs, opinions and suggestions and accommodate them when making your wedding plans.
Give him his share of duties to handle
Encourage your groom to be involved in the wedding planning by asking him what responsibilities he would like to handle. Men usually enjoy planning the wedding music, so give him this task. Whatever be the responsibility you hand over, leave it to him. Don’t micromanage or pester him with details, as this will only kill his enthusiasm. If he has creative ideas, value them. This will make your wedding more interesting for both of you.
Don’t involve him in everything, and don’t frustrate him for his lack of interest
Unlike women, men are usually not bothered with the finer details of weddings. So, don’t be upset if your groom doesn’t share your enthusiasm in deciding between peach and pink for your wedding color palette. Identify what he is interested in, and only involve him in tasks that he should be doing or will enjoy handling. Don’t overwhelm him by pushing him, instead take it easy and he will not feel overwhelmed.
Take a time-out from your wedding planning once in a while, and don’t bring it to the level that all your time together is spent talking about the wedding. Remember that the main reason you are getting married is to celebrate your love for each other. So, don’t lose that excitement in all the wedding planning frenzy.
For more practical wedding planning advice and shopping for your wedding dress, visit us on Best for Bride.
Any writer can tell you that facing the blank page can be intimidating. It’s no different when writing your own wedding vows. How can you begin to describe your love for the person with whom you want to share your life? Here are some helpful tips for how to write your own vows.
Before actually writing the vows, talk to your fiance about the tone of the vows. If one of you writes very serious, traditional vows and the other’s are humorous, the humorous vows can seem disrespectful even if there was absolutely no intent to be portrayed that way. You might decide that you will both include a mix of serious and funny. Discuss the options as a couple. Also, decide on a general length. Vows usually are between one and two minutes long.
Looking at the whole project of writing your own vows may be too overwhelming. Try breaking the vows into the sections that you want. Many people start with a very basic statement addressing their loved one. They typically start with the fiancé’s name and a few sentences talking about the person’s strengths, lovable qualities, and caring nature. Close the beginning of the vows with a declaration of love.
An example of the beginning of vows:
“Daniel, you are my one true love. You have an amazing balance of being strong, yet being affectionate, and being focused, yet making me laugh. You have always accepted me for who I am while challenging me to reach my potential. I love you with all my heart, forever and always.”
Traditionally, the second part of the wedding vows include promises. These promises can be statements about how you will show your love and commitment every day. The promises can be general statements such as, “I will always do everything I can to make you happy.” Or, the promises can be more personal and specific.
Wedding vows typically end with statements about future hopes or what you will do together. For example, this part can be summarized as “I will love you through good times and bad.” You may want something more poetic or personal. The ending of the vows usually includes a sentiment about the bond being eternal, such as “as long as we both shall live.”
Take a cue from writers of dialogue. Practice saying the vows aloud. Sometimes, we write things that look good on paper but are awkward when spoken. Hearing it will help you know what they will sound like to your fiancé and wedding guests. This will also give you a chance to time how long it takes to say the vows.
Start writing vows early. You may want to make changes along the way. After you think you’re finished, you might think of something else you want to say or want to change the wording. When you are completely finished, make a fresh copy to practice if you have been writing and changing things on paper.
For more tips for conquering challenges associated with planning your wedding, please browse the Best for Bride blog.
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