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My Bridal Infantry

Do you remember the early Roman times when bridesmaids were more like a bridal infantry? They played the role of the bride’s soldiers. They chaperoned her to the groom’s village, guarding her against anybody who was against the marriage or who was after her dowry.

My bridesmaids are much like that. They are my fierce warriors, my faithful friends who were always there to stand up for me, to defend me. And now that it’s my wedding, there’s nobody else who befits the role of a bridesmaid more than these group of women who are modern in their civilized ways but primitive in their fierceness.

Are you curious already? You see, I am now 42 years old. And I am marrying a 27-year-old guy. And well, you can imagine what other people have to say about that. I suppose they are now calling me a DOM, a Dirty Old Matron. And did I mention that I am a millionaire too? As a matter of fact, it’s almost like I am actually giving away a dowry. Now you can imagine what they have to say about my poor fiancé.

If you would ask me, I don’t give a scruple what those nosy, dirty vixens have to say. It’s just that I feel for my husband-to-be. He’s a simple, good-natured man, and he’s not used to all these intrigue and drama. And he can’t stand all the attention. Also, he’s not getting the best of treatments from my family.

There was a time when I almost gave up on the idea of us getting married. The pain all this was giving him weighed down on me until it was almost too heavy. And then the ladies came to the rescue. Brought my spirits back. Always the reliable friends that they are.

It was funny how my friends, always cultured and refined, were suddenly uttering words of spite and hatred for those who just can’t leave us alone. And it was a major consolation that the whole set-up was readily accepted by my friends, without judgment, without prejudice.

Come to think of it, there is really nothing wrong with the set-up. Forty-two years of age is not all that old. Like they say, life starts at 40. And besides, the two of us are madly in love and we truly deserve to be happy. And we can’t just throw away what we have just to please those good-for-nothing shrews.

Anyway, I plan to give nothing but the best to my beloved female warriors on my wedding day. I already shopped for some wonderfully exquisite bridesmaids gifts. And now I am unto their precious dresses. They have to look debonair and dashing on my special day.

Anyway, I found this wonderful collection of Bridesmaids Gowns – Tulipia. They are perfect for my soldiers. The rich shades and striking prints and cuts exude a quintessential mix of femininity and fierceness.

I am down to three choices. First in the list is Tulipia – 23. Its delicate and graceful pattern yet bold and daring cut is a perfect embodiment of my lady friends.

I also particularly like the Tulipia – Cleopatra. My friends are not much unlike Queen Cleopatra herself, strong-willed and ready to stand up against her opponents. The dress, in its exquisiteness and elegance, effectively communicates this fact.

And there’s the Tulipia – Flirt. The dress makes such a presence that any hellcat will think twice before making a false move. With its unique accents and eclectic mix of fabrics, this is definitely not your ordinary dress.

Now I am down to the task of making the final choice. But well, this is one problem I enjoy solving.

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Forever in the Aisle: The Tales and Triumphs of Being Always a Bridesmaid, Never the Bride!

“Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” That’s one line that I have come to hate. It’s an expression that has become associated with me. “So you’re a bridesmaid again?” Those snooty girls in my neighborhood would never miss a chance to say that to my face.

“Why am I always a bridesmaid,
Never the blushing bride?
Ding! Dong! Wedding bells
Always ring for other gals.
But one fine day“
Please let it be soon“
I shall wake up in the morning
On my own honeymoon.”

Oh, how I hate Charles Collin and Fred W. Leigh for writing that song. It’s become my brother’s invincible weapon when he feels like badgering me. And believe me, he feels like it all the time. And he has creative means of finding a way to pull in the issue. Picture this he is all engrossed in a basketball game and would suddenly scream, “The team’s a damned bridesmaid, always too close but never there, just like my pathetic sister!”

And there’s this Listerine advertisement. Can you believe it’s blaming the whole syndrome to halitosis? Hey, I don’t have bad breath! They gave my brother yet another reason to taunt me.

But I am currently rejoicing. Do you remember that old myth? The one that says you break the charm after your seventh bridesmaid service? Well, I had been a bridesmaid for six times now and a good friend just invited me to become one of her bridesmaids (better keep my eyes on that bouquet). What do you know? I just might break the spell!

You might already be laughing by now. It must be funny to listen to a girl grumbling about being unmarried and actually relying on superstition to solve her problem. What can I say? A girl could hope.

Anyway, I’m so excited about the event that I volunteered to help with the wedding preparations. And of course, I asked that I be assigned to the most fun part. What else could it be? Shopping! I’m done with the ring bearer and groomsmen gifts. And would you believe I also did the shopping for bridesmaid gifts? It’s fun buying your gift and wrapping it too.

Anyway, I’m on to the last part. But why, I actually saved the best for last. I’m on to shopping for bridesmaids dresses and found this impressive collection. It’s called Bridesmaids Gowns AfterSix. The bride and I agree it’s the best line we’ve seen. They’re not too loud, yet stylish and trendy.

Now we’ll have to choose from three lovely dresses. The first among our top three favourites is the Style – 6504. The dress runs a little below the knees. It’s actually more like a cocktail dress than a bridesmaid gown, but my friend and I prefer it that way. Style 6504 is an elegant v-neck dress with a trendy empire waist. We especially loved its shade of olive green.

Second in line is the Style – 6500. It looks like a long gown but not quite. It’s a simple cut, and the sweetheart neckline dresses it down. But still, it has an imposing presence with its vivid pitch-black colour.

And there’s the alluring Style – 6510. Its cut is not flattering to the figure, and you don’t get to show much skin because of its knee length. Still, the dress is a teaser, very sexy. Nothing beats the colour red. What do you know? Playing the part of a ‘lady in red’ might win me a new guy.

Anyway, what I love about these dresses is that I wear them to any formal party. They make for a great addition to my wardrobe. Now that’s smart shopping.