Find a Neutral Ground

Before talking to your future mother-in-law to resolve your conflicts, you have to agree on a neutral venue. This must be a quiet place away from the meddling and needling of other family members, which will allow the conversations to flow more smoothly. Besides, the conflict is primarily between you and your mother-in-law and the presence of interested (in gossip) parties can muddle the issues.

And who knows? The next grounds you will step on are stores selling wedding dresses.

Agree to Disagree

The abovementioned study states that the conflicts between women in-laws start with disagreements on domestic matters like cooking, cleaning and children’s welfare. Well, of course, you will have disagreements simply because you were raised in different generations under different circumstances!

Thus, you will have to agree to disagree on the details of domesticity. Instead, you must focus on general principles and values that will affect the general welfare of the son/spouse and the grandchildren. Soon enough, you might even laugh over the ridiculousness of those ‘80s-inspired wedding dresses.

Focus on the Relevant Issues

Often in confrontations, serious disagreements get muddled by side issues. To avoid this from happening, you can make a list of the things that you feel are the main sources of friction. It does not have to be detailed, just as a general guideline.

When you are conversing with your future mother-in-law, strive to be respectful of her view. In the same way, you have to demand from her the respect that you deserve as the woman her son chose for a wife. When there is mutual respect, you are better able to focus on each other’s feelings and how each one affects the other.

For example, if the issue is about your initial choices of wedding dresses, you can always calmly discuss the reasons for your choices while considering her reasons as valid to a point. It may sound trivial but, often, starting with the little things paves the way for the big things.

Avoid Name-Calling

Not only is name-calling infantile, it can hurt people more than actions ever do. You both need to be calm, cool and collected at all times. Otherwise, it will be exercises in futility, not to mention escalate the tensions to more unmanageable levels. You need to remember that you might be the future wife but your future mother-in-law will always be the mother of your fiancé.

You, on the other hand, might find yourself shredding your wedding dresses when your groom-to-be grows tired of your bickering and just cancels the wedding. Let’s hope it will be temporary.

Indeed, it can provide peace of mind to the wedding planning when you know that both sides are agreeable to the union. At the very least, you can focus more time on finding the right wedding dresses for the ceremony and the reception!

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Why? Well, because the mother of the bride will also be in the pictures and the videos and you can’t allow her to look dowdy, disastrous and disgusting, that’s why. With that being said, here are horrors to avoid in mother of the bride dresses.

H – Hugs like a Second Skin

Sure, you don’t like your mother to look matronly but you don’t want her to look like she could spill her oxygen-deprived internal organs all over the church at any moment either. Don’t forget, too, that many ripping accidents have happened at weddings, which you definitely will not want to happen to your mother.

O – Open to Speculation

Remember the mother of the bride dresses that competed for the title of the world’s airiest dress? Yes, stay away from the light, er, from them! Not only do they threaten to expose delicate body parts that must be hidden from view in a solemn wedding ceremony but it simply will not do for guests to speculate on what body parts will indeed make a run for it. It’s your wedding day, not your mother’s humiliation day.

R- Rigid to the Bone

Sure, rigid corsets can shape the body of a mature woman with extra poundage. However, you need to remember that your mother needs to breathe, needs to move, and needs to eat at your wedding. Besides, it’s the 21st century, not the 16th century with its fondness for stiff corsets! Instead, look for mother of the bride dresses that will flatter the figure but provide comfort for hours on end.

R- Rich Details

Nowadays, the design emphasis is on simple elegance. As such, your initial selection needs to adhere to this fashion dictum. Avoid unnecessarily rich details like ribbons and bows, heavy embroidery and glittering sequins, appliqués and cutouts. If you don’t want to inflict such pain on your bridesmaids, why would you inflict it on your mother?

O – Outrageous Designs

Admittedly, having an avant-garde mother has its merits. But unless your wedding veers towards unorthodox themes, it’s best to stick to fashionable-for-her-age designs that are classic, stylish and elegant. Besides, she might want to use the mother of bride dresses in other occasions, with some alterations, so it’s good advice to stick to the mainstream designs.

R – Retro

On the other side of the fence are retro-inspired mother of the bride dresses. Again, unless you have a retro wedding, try to find something that will complement the general theme of the wedding, which nowadays often means contemporary. If you really want to inject retro, well, at least try to keep it to a minimum.

S- Slinky

There must be enough cloth on this Earth to cover up body areas like the thighs and legs, chest and arms, back and buttocks of the women in your wedding entourage. So, why is it that your mother must sashay down the aisle in a dress that screams “Cloth Scarcity”? No reason at all!

The message is basically try not to embarrass your mother and yourself, stick to the wedding theme, and be mindful of the sensibilities of your wedding guests.

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So what can you do from your end to take care of your mom in a time when you yourself are busy and pressured enough with all the preparations? How do you tell her you love her despite the unbelievable amount of wedding jitters that seem to consume you? Is it enough to let her choose from among the many mother of the bride dresses sold in the bridal stores?

Keep Her Relevant

Make sure that even if you are already very busy, you don’t let your mom feel out-of-place. And the best way for you to do this is to keep her in the planning sessions. Yes, sometimes, you’d rather want to do things on your own but keeping her in would actually make your life easier. Who knows, because your mom got very elated because you are making her opinion count, she’ll say you don’t have to worry about mother of the bride dresses because she’ll take care of her own gown! Savings right in your face, right?

Remember that in making your mom a part of the plan, you are not only keeping her in. You are also starting to “polish” relationships, this time between your mom and you as a wife of your husband. Remember, not everyone remains to a have a great relationship with their families, especially her mom after getting married. So the sooner you start trying, the better results you’ll get.

Treat Her

Treating your mom primarily means letting her choose from the best mother of the bride dresses. Then, it means giving her the chance to take care of the things for the wedding. This may include finalizing the guest list, contacting some suppliers and visiting the venue for an ocular inspection.

Get Her Ready

Regardless of how much effort you put into preparing your mom that you will no longer be her baby, the task would never be a success if your mom is not yet open for it. Therefore, as early as during the planning stage, inform her, as tactfully and politely as possible, that you will already have a life of your own. Thank her for the love and care and for preparing her for your married life.

The level of acceptance would vary from one mom to another and would also depend on the extent of your closeness. But with time, she’ll get by.

Moms will always be moms. So when she cries during your wedding day, let her be. It won’t do you and your wedding any harm. It is a right that she has gained for being in one of the most fabulous and stunning mother of the bride dresses. After all, she is the second most important woman in the wedding!

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Evening dresses, as you know, are also worn by guests in a wedding ceremony. Today, weddings, though considered as a formal event, have already provided guests with some leeway in terms of their choices of designs. Therefore, your guests could get as creative as they can on their evening dresses. Provided that they do not look ludicrous, lewd or malicious, then they can choose a gown that would make them look fabulous!

But what is expected of you on black tie events? Are there some do’s and don’ts related to your wearing of evening dresses? Here are a few of them.

The Dress Itself

If men were to be in a formal wear, so should the ladies. Therefore, it is but proper for you to “dress accordingly” when you are in your evening gown. Dressing here does not only refer to evening dresses but to other elements of your overall ensemble as well. Evening dresses in black tie events could be full-length or tea-length (mid-calf to ankle). Cocktail gowns are also acceptable in weddings.

The Shoes

Shoes need not be expensive so they would look fabulous on your already stunning evening dresses. You can go with pumps, evening sandals, or even ballet slippers. If they go with or complement the color of your evening gown, the better!

The Accessories

Surely, being in that stunning evening dress is not enough. You must be able to “carry it;” and the best way to do this is to use some accessories. While it is optional to wear those glittering pair of earrings, necklace, bracelet or ring, it would not do any harm if you do.

Fashion gurus also believe that a watch is not appropriate for evening dresses. If you really want to wear one though, make sure that it’s a jewelled version and that its “face” is not that obvious so it will resemble a bracelet.

The Handbag

If you want to carry a handbag for your phones, money and other precious items, ensure that it is a clutch bag or a small evening bag. The traditional rule of thumb when it comes to bags is that it should match the color of your shoes. Today, however, you don’t have to abide by this.

If you want to be a little adventurous, you can choose a color that complements your gown or your shoes. However, if you want to stay safe, black, white, or even gray handbags would do the trick.

Evening dresses, though already stunning, would be more fabulous if you properly accessorize. You don’t have to buy expensive and top-of-the-line accessories. As long as these are appropriate — both for the occasion and the style/color of your evening gown — then you are good to go. In the end, what matters is that you are able to carry your gown and you are comfortable in it…comfortable looking fabulous and but still regal.

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Yes, you can claim to be a 21st-century individual and you can contend that superstitions would no longer apply these days. However, your parents, your groom’s parents, and your grandparents will never run out of reminders regarding these beliefs — however crazy they may sound when put in today’s context.

Here are a few superstitions about weddings in general and wedding dresses in particular. And by their nature, these beliefs may or may not have explanations. Let’s revisit some of them.

1. It is said that it is unlucky for a bride to make her own wedding dress. While this may come as a very attractive idea to hit up on those savings, you might want to think again.

However, borrowed wedding dresses are lucky — for you, at least. Seriously though, would you ever allow someone to borrow your wedding dress? A keepsake of one of the most important days of your life? Well, this whole wedding-dress-practice is mostly seen among mother-daughter or grandmother-grandchild relationships. In these cases, wedding dresses can be labelled as sort of an heirloom.

2. Worried about the weather? Well, when it rains during your wedding day, you don’t actually have to panic. Many cultures consider it as lucky because the pouring rain signifies blessings –the heavier the downpour, the more blessings for you and your husband!

The worrisome part comes in because of the fact that no one would feel comfortable wearing wet and dirty wedding dresses. This issue would be more pronounced especially if you are having a garden wedding!

3. “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.” Ever wondered what this famous phrase is for? A new bride should have some “things” old, new, borrowed and blue. But there’s actually another phrase that’s been deleted, and this is: sixpence for my shoe. What do all these mean?

“Old” symbolizes the bride’s life before the wedding; “new” is symbolical of new beginnings; “borrowed” is all about luck — especially when such an item is borrowed from another bride; “blue” actually represents the color of pre-Victorian wedding dresses. Lastly, “sixpence for my shoe” denotes wealth and financial stability.

4. In some Asian cultures, in the Philippines for example, wedding dresses should only be worn on the wedding day itself. Otherwise, something bad will happen and the wedding will not push through. With such a belief, the need for proper fitting and careful measurements are paramount. Imagine wearing a wedding dress that’s inches bigger than you!

Despite the modernity of our times, some superstitions still survive. In fact, they are practiced still. It may be sound unscientific if you believe and practice what superstition says about weddings and wedding dresses. However, there’s no harm in abiding by them right? You will not lose anything.

On the other side, if you completely ignore what the “oldies” believe to be true, you might feel guilty and you may become anxious. Of course, when something bad happens, your parents, or grandparents would then blame you for not believing in superstition.

Therefore, to make everyone happy, why not accept these superstitious beliefs as they are? This way, you can dress for the occasion, and for tradition.

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